Published on
updated on
Reading 3 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical Psychologist)
Despite your recommendations, your teenager has drunk too much and comes back in a strange state. This stage inevitably happens at some point or another… unless he’s an angel. Find out how to react to his first “binge” in four steps!
The holiday period is often an opportunity for teenagers to have their first experiences. And it is probably during a summer evening that yours will try alcohol… at the risk of coming home a little tipsy. But how should you react if your teenager comes home drunk? Discover the advice of psychologist Amélie Boukhobza.
Have an open and educational discussion beforehand
“Prevention is better than cure”we all know this proverb and it applies perfectly to alcohol. The effects of this drink can be particularly dangerous, especially when you are young and do not really control your consumption. This is why the psychologist advises to discuss the dangers with your teenager even before he has had his first experience, in “adapting your speech according to his age, personality, maturity and lifestyle” she specifies.
The ideal? “Have an open and educational discussion as soon as your teen starts going out more often or finding themselves in situations where alcohol may be present.” By bringing up the topic up front, you can set a framework and build trust with your child. This will help make discussions easier later on, and help them feel comfortable talking to you if they ever make a mistake.
Set rules for his consumption
During this first discussion with him where you present the risks of alcohol, it is essential to establish a fixed framework to help your teenager understand his future experiences. “For example, you can set an age before which he will not be allowed to drink, a number of glasses not to be exceeded” recommends Amélie Boukhobza, and also “determine situations where drinking is permitted, such as at parties supervised by adults”.
Another point concerning his safety is to talk to him about the limits that should never be exceeded. For example, never drink to the point of losing control, or before driving. “It is also important to remind him that the purpose of the rules is not to reduce his freedom but above all to protect him” confides the psychologist. Besides, you can specify that these rules also apply to adults.
Making sure he’s okay is a priority
Once the mistake has been made (i.e. he has had his first binge), the first thing to do is to make sure he is physically okay. “While it may be tempting to get upset when your child comes home drunk, they often learn a much better lesson if you let the aftereffects of the alcohol do their job.” advises the psychologist. What better than headaches, nausea and excessive fatigue to show him the bad side of this festive drink?
Moreover, the psychologist advises adding a little dose of humor like: “He who acts smart falls into the ravine”in order to defuse the situation. Conversely, “Avoid reproaches and severe punishments, which could close the door to a constructive discussion later” she qualifies. This will also allow him to reflect on the negative effects of his consumption without being eaten up by the guilt of his first binge!
Moralize him with concrete examples
Once the bad times have passed, Amélie Boukhobza advises also having a more serious conversation by presenting him with a fait accompli: “I hope this has taught you a lesson. You saw how sick you were, it’s not fun to get yourself into this state.”. Don’t hesitate to remind him of the rules you set together by illustrating the reasons why you established them. Also explain to him how his body reacts in order to highlight that alcohol is not good for your health.
This is also the time to talk to him about the health problems that this can cause. “Here, it’s not about scaring” explains the psychologist, “but to provide the keys to understanding the risks: loss of control, disinhibition, addiction, long-term health dangers.” Also ask him how he got home that night and talk about the increased risk of accidents: “Did you walk home? You could have been run over! In a car? You could have put your life and the lives of others in danger!” These concrete examples help the teenager better understand the potential consequences of his actions. By showing yourself to be attentive and understanding, you help him prevent it from happening again.
“Although alcohol and its effects are socially accepted, they are still very dangerous in certain cases, especially for a developing body. Using concrete examples and real situations that he can understand makes the message more impactful.”concludes the psychologist.
Slide: 10 Signs You Have a Drinking Problem