An “ideal” age gap in a couple has been highlighted by several studies, it could be the secret to a lasting couple.
Is the age difference in a couple problematic or anecdotal? Everyone has their own opinion and theories. For some, a large gap is not an option; it is seen as an obstacle to the smooth functioning of a couple. While for others, it would be the secret to a lasting relationship. It is also a subject where certain clichés persist, rightly or wrongly, such as the very old one according to which women choose an older partner because men tend to mature less quickly than women.
Beyond clichés and preconceived ideas, experts have indeed asked the question of the effects of the age difference in a couple. In 2017, Professor Wang-Sheng Lee of Deakin University, Australia, conducted a study on marital satisfaction in couples with an age difference. According to this study, the greater the age gap, the faster the relationship declines. This research even came to a statistical conclusion: an age gap of between 1 to 3 years between partners would be ideal. No more.
A more recent study came to similar results: the greater the age difference, the more it would impact the strength of the couple. According to Gina Marie Guarino, therapist specializing in mental health and founder of PsychPoint (a company advising mental health professionals): “The greater the age difference between the two partners, the more likely it is that they will encounter difficulties in management of pivotal moments in their life as a couple. We are talking here about health, personal priorities or even the desire to start a family.
The challenges faced by couples of different ages vary depending on the age gap itself. According to therapist Brandy Porche, advisor to the specialized American company Mindpath Health, “even in the case of a fairly small age gap, 4 or 5 years, different levels of maturity can be observed.” To which she adds: “When the age gap is greater, between 10 and 15 years or more, life experiences can be very different.”
Iranian researchers, who examined more than 250 social science articles on the subject, found a perfect illustration of this observation: sexual desire. “It appears that the age difference is a major factor influencing couples’ sexuality and could therefore affect marital satisfaction.” The reason clearly put forward by work on the subject is that with age, sexual desires evolve: “Spouses expect different sexual activities from each other, and this mismatch in sexual activities results creates areas of dissatisfaction among couples who have a larger age gap.”