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Do you know the “feelings gap”? This is the famous “sentimental gap” that can be created at the start of a relationship. Explanations.
In a romantic relationship, balance is not always easy to find, especially at the beginning: it happens that one person falls in love more quickly than the other. This is what we call the sentimental gap or “feelings gap” in English.
What is the “love gap”?
The feelings gap refers to the difference in time needed for each partner to fully commit to the relationship.
According to Crystal Cansdale, a dating expert interviewed by Stylist UKthis phenomenon would be more frequent than we believe.
It can be summarized as follows: one of the partners is moving forward at high speed in the relationship; while the other is more observational (waiting to see if the relationship is really worth it).
This time for reflection, which can last up to three months, can lead to a breakup.
And for good reason: one feels more loved than the other – at the risk of quickly feeling more oppressed.
Who is affected by the “feelings gap”?
Women seem more affected by this phenomenon.
“Women usually take the first few months to find out if they really like the man they are dating. They construct their feelings based on their commonalities, their shared values and the way their partner interacts with others. Men are more likely to make a quick decision“, explains the expert.
And the figures prove it: according to a report published in the Journal Of Social And Personal Relationshipswomen take around 138 days to declare their feelings, compared to 97 for men.
According to Crystal Cansdale, consciously managing how you date can make a big difference…and ultimately prevent you from being stuck in that romantic divide. The expert therefore recommends:
- to take your time by not organizing more than two meetings per week. “If you feel like everything is going too fast, take breaks“, advises the specialist.
- to make sure that we like the other. “If the essential is there – the efforts made, the shared values, good chemistry – that is the most important,” she assures.
- to demonstrate honesty. “Don’t use the emotional gap as an excuse if, in reality, you don’t feel anything at all. If there is no initial spark at any level, it is unlikely to develop. So make sure you check in with yourself and be honest“, recalls the expert.
- not to forget your worth. “Even with these wise tips for avoiding the feelings gap, you’re still likely to encounter it. Whether your relationship passes the 3 month mark or ends before, there is not always a culprit. This should not damage your self-esteem“, concludes the specialist.
Slide: 10 proofs that you are falling in love