Helmareit’s shy running machine is living his dream, but sometimes being a professional is excruciatingly lonely – “I feel like others are judging me as a person too”

“If I were an animal on the field, I’d probably be someone really annoying. One that won’t leave me alone. Some wasp or bee that just buzzes around and stays in the hive.”

From winter 2021 Emma Koivisto has become a problem for opponents in the English Super League.

Just before the start of the European Championships, it was confirmed that the 27-year-old Finn, who represented Brighton for one and a half seasons, will move to Liverpool, who have been promoted to the Super League.

In the Superliiga, which has developed its activities wildly in recent years, the activities are highly professional.

Koivisto has said that in Brighton the women’s team has two physiotherapists, two physical trainers, a goalkeeper trainer, a second trainer, a head trainer, a video analyst, a psychological trainer and a nutritionist.

In Sweden, the number of team employees was much smaller, although the players’ salaries are still at the same level.

The working days of the players are long.

– A full-time job. Fortunately, this is something you like to do and enjoy.

Although Koivisto gets to live his dream, on the other hand, he does not hide how difficult the everyday life of a professional football player playing abroad can be.

Last season, Brighton finished in the middle class in the Super League, but along the way a ten-game winless streak happened. Nine of the games ended in defeat.

– Then it’s not terribly nice. There is usually a game on Sundays. If it turns out to be a loss, then maybe by Wednesday the mood will be back up. Then we go to the next game on Sunday, we lose again.

– You have to deal with the same feelings again and again, Koivisto says Matias Aution in the Helmaritähdet short documentary directed by

You can see the entire short documentary about Emma Koivisto at the end of this story.

Koivisto sees that it is easier for the English players who go to their families after the matches to get their thoughts elsewhere.

– It’s quite lonely. If footy doesn’t go well, it affects my whole life because I have nothing else here in England.

– It feels like the identity is automatically built only around football, but at the same time you hear a lot that football shouldn’t be the whole identity, and doesn’t define me as a person.

Sometimes even going to practice after a losing game feels embarrassing.

– As if others would somehow judge me as a person because of having messed up on the football field. It would be really good if identity could be separated from futs.

Göteborg FC had announced right after the Swedish Championship 2020 that it would disband its women’s team. The main sponsor stopped its support, and the activity could not be continued. In January 2021, the women’s team became part of another Gothenburg club, BK Häcken.

It came as a shock to Koivisto that the club went under. On the other hand, he had already decided to move on to other challenges.

Last season, Koivisto played in every league match when Brighton finished seventh in the 12-team Super League.

In Helmari, Koivisto toils as a left winger. In England, he is often seen in a more attacking role.

If Koivisto was the fastest player in Sweden, the situation was different in England. Although Koivisto was able to quickly break into the starting line-up, the tempo and physicality surprised.

– There is much less time with the ball, the press comes right away. In Sweden, there was more time for decision-making, Koivisto has said.

Before the game, Koivisto prepares for the pace by calming down in the locker room.

– Just before the start of the game, I close my eyes, I go through the situations I’m likely to encounter. For example, if I’m playing a position on the wing and I get the ball from the top, I take the ball forward and pass the ball to the midfield or to the wing.

– If I see that the basic performances are successful, it gives me self-confidence. I get more out of it than seeing me score five goals because it’s not as realistic.

Koivisto is described on the pages of Pallloiito in the player introduction (you switch to another service) “a shy person who, however, becomes quite social and talkative after getting to know each other”. As a player, Koivisto is mentioned that he is a “physical machine, a straightforward and powerful player”.

Koivisto has previously told about his shyness in Helsingin Sanomat, among others in the article (you will switch to another service) 2021. Koivisto revealed that when he was younger, he hardly spoke to anyone, and it was not easy for him to get to know people.

However, Koivisto dared to go to the University of Florida in 2014 after receiving an offer for a sports scholarship. Koivisto was shy and striving for perfection, which is why, for example, speaking English was difficult at first.

– I feel that I changed a lot during my years in America. American culture and life is so extroverted. You can’t afford to be shy there. That experience changed me the most, Koivisto reflected in Helsingin Sanomat.

Koivisto has not been shy on the field. He has always made his way into the starting line-up. When Koivisto was leaving Gothenburg, he received offers from Italy, Spain and the United States, but England was a fairly easy choice.

The Superliiga, which has become one of Europe’s toughest leagues, had been a dream for a long time.

Even though it’s lonely and tough at times, Koivisto is currently doing exactly what he wanted. When the dark streak of ten matches was broken, Koivisto, who played as a winger, managed to score in the Reading victory.

– It’s a neat profession. You get to do what you love. Sometimes you think why even play when you are somehow in such deep waters. On the other hand, when things go well and you get those wins, you remember why you play.

– You can’t get those feelings anywhere else.

Watch the entire five-minute mini-documentary about Emma Koivisto below.

You can find everything about the European football championships: games, background stories, news and highlights on ‘s competition pages. Finland will face Germany in the final game of the first group on Saturday at 22:00. Live broadcast of the match from 21:00 on TV1 and Areena. You can listen to the match on Puhe from 21:30.