“Empathy and benevolence required”: beware of the excess of “soft skills”

Empathy and benevolence required beware of the excess of soft

“Savoir-être: autonomy, benevolence, leadership.” Ready to respond to the Apec ad for a department manager position (45,000-60,000 euros annually), which also specifies “no expected know-how”, higher education (bac + 2 minimum) in the fields of commerce and with a successful experience of at least two years. The emotional and relational intelligence of the manager is a sine qua non quality here, as for all positions. THE soft skills invaded the work landscape. “Today, strategy and vision are no longer enough to create buy-in and create value. It is the qualities of the heart that are essential. It is the human qualities – consideration, empathy, listening – which best characterize good leaders”, reads a study by the Boston Consulting Group (BCG, 2021). “Declaring oneself against benevolence immediately places us on the side of sociopaths and cynics. However, we must seriously question these concepts which blind more than they enlighten”, answers Christophe Genoud, in Leadership, agility, happiness at work. Bullshit! Put an end to fashionable ideas and revalue (finally) the art of management (Vuibert, 2023).

EPISODE 1 – “Sorry, I’m in a meeting”: the hidden costs of managerial madness

EPISODE 2 – “You are close to burnout, delegate!”, this double-edged managerial injunction

Concept decoding

Ambition. Kindness. Ability to solve problems / adaptation / analysis / communication. Curiosity. Keen. Proactivity. Autonomy… Let’s try to agree on the definition of these qualities found in advertisements. “Autonomy”: can the manager work when he wants, or must he comply with schedules? “Passionate”: in case of work overload, should passion prevail over his personal life and his lunch break? “Proactivity”: tell your boss that his analysis is wrong? “Ability to communicate”: pass on (tactility required) to its N-1 the directives of the direction? Impossible to find a consensus in the use of these concepts so open to opposing interpretations, where even the legal does not find its place. However, consideration (37%), empathy (33%), listening (31%) topped the 16 qualities cited by respondents to define the ideal leader (BCG). It is therefore necessary to accommodate on both sides of this list à la Prévert during the recruitment of the manager and to find the lowest common denominator. In the event of a conflict, each will adopt its own definition of the soft skills.

Empathy is not synonymous with kindness

Even the mantra of “benevolence” raises questions. “Empathy is not synonymous with benevolence, judge Christophe Genoud, management consultant, who has read Adam Smith (theory of moral sentiments, published in 1759). This ability to put myself in the place of the other does not in any way guarantee the commitment on my part of a moral action favorable to my interlocutor… If I show benevolence, it is less because I serve the good or fair (in the Kantian sense) only because I care about my self-esteem or the image that others have of me.” The behavioral economics of “cognitive biases” has therefore taken a close interest in the empathy, knowing that there is a difference between our ability to feel what the other is going through and being good.” In other words, empathy is not the most reliable guide to making decisions. And it could even be that many of the ills of our organizations are due more to a surplus of benevolence and empathy than to a lack”, indicates the former senior civil servant. For the psychologist Paul Bloom, empathy is a ” sweet, tempting, delicious, but bad soda”. (Against Empathy. The Case for Rational Compassion, The Bodley Head, 2016.) “The angry person cannot be rational since they are emotionally affected. before inviting him to better manage his emotions. This is not empathy, it is paternalism, infantilism”, concludes Christophe Genoud. The benevolent management of bullshit managerial? “Yes, because it places the actors in a situation of dependence and is based on regulating their emotions by dismissing the rational dimension of their behavior.” The expert is campaigning to replace empathy and benevolence with reciprocity, which begins by identifying the reasons of others to explain their behavior, “knowing that they are a priori as rational as me”. “He works a little bit when his body agrees / For him you don’t have to worry, he knows how to dose his effort / In the basket of crabs, he doesn’t play lobsters / He doesn’t try at all costs to do bubbles in the pond…” Recruited, the Max of Hervé Cristiani?

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