In Barcelona, fathers want coaching, the aim of which is to improve the status of mothers. Courses teaching equal parenting have become so popular that there are queues for them.
11:14•Updated 11:18
BARCELONA. Twenty men sit in a circle in a classroom-like space.
One of them jokes that it looks like they’ve entered an AA club. However, here you don’t learn to get rid of alcohol, but rather patriarchal structures.
The purpose of the courses organized by the city of Barcelona is to help participants prepare for fatherhood and promote equal parenting.
An egg can help, among other things.
– This is now your baby. Take it with you to the workplace and everywhere. Show it to everyone and bring it back intact next week, instructs the instructor of the course at the Barcelona health center Isaac Navarro.
“I want to know what happens during childbirth”
Future fathers immediately start reading the instructions and thinking about how to transport the egg home intact.
The participants are lucky, because the trainings that started ten years ago have become so popular that not everyone who wants to can join.
– I got excited as soon as I was told about the coaching at the counseling center, says the 24-year-old kuopus of the group Carles Ribera.
Ribera and his partner’s first child will be born in September. Other participants are also becoming fathers for the first time.
– I wanted to prepare for fatherhood now, not until the baby is born, says Ribera.
Also 36 years old As Oriol Baszuña wants to be involved from the beginning of the pregnancy.
– I want to know what happens during childbirth and to get peer support from others in the same situation. Mental preparation is extremely important.
It’s about more than just eggs.
The atmosphere in the training is light and cheerful, but the participants also dare to talk about what scares and excites them. When one speaks, others listen.
– What is discussed in the course stays in the course, says instructor Isaac Navarro.
Get rid of the macho culture
Plural, a new kind of masculinity center founded by the city of Barcelona, is responsible for organizing the training.
It aims to reduce toxic masculinity. The term refers to negative traits associated with masculinity, such as silence and traditional macho culture.
Director of the center Eva Martinez Schiaffino excitedly presents the newly renovated premises next to Barcelona’s Franca train station. They organize various workshops to eradicate domestic violence, among other things.
– Becoming a father is a big life change and an opportunity to examine one’s own attitudes. Groups intended for fathers promote equality and at the same time are part of domestic violence prevention work.
In addition to Barcelona, there are parenting trainings for fathers elsewhere in Catalonia and at least in the Basque Country in northern Spain.
The development of equality is not reflected in the birth rate
Among those participating in fatherhood training, the idea of equal parenting seems self-evident.
Progress can also be seen in legislation.
Transferring parental leave is no longer possible.
At least the change in the law is not yet visible in the birth rate.
It is the lowest in Europe after Malta and the average age of first-time mothers continues to rise.
In Spain, having a child is expensive due to the non-existent support system and women often still have to choose between career and family.
In traditional nuclear families, even in Spain, the main responsibility for childcare is increasingly falling on mothers.
A father is not an assistant, but an equal parent
Time use is also one of the themes of fatherhood coaching.
– Our starting point is that the father is not the mother’s assistant, but an equal parent, sums up the midwife who guides the course together with Isaac Navarro Sandra Roche.
Crayons go around in a circle.
The guideline is to draw a circle about the distribution of time use now and after the baby is born.
In Carles Ribera’s circle, housework has replaced, among other things, watching movies.
– I spend time with my child during the day and clean in the evening. It makes more sense anyway, because electricity is cheaper in the evenings, laughs Ribera.
The division of labor has already been agreed upon before the child is born
Ribera returns from fatherhood training to his home, located in the suburbs of Barcelona, almost an hour away by train. The spouse is waiting there Ainhoa Ganella Fernández.
Ganella Fernández and Ribera are exceptions both in Spain and in their circle of friends.
– Few have children at all, or at least not at such a young age. However, we believe that a child gives more than it takes, says 24-year-old Ganella Fernández.
According to the teachings of fatherhood coaching, the couple has already agreed on the division of labor before the child is born.
– There are two of us in this project. I feed the child and Carles takes care of changing diapers and watering. This way he also gets in touch with the baby.
– It is not an obligation, but a privilege, adds Ribera.
A new family member is also waiting for the family’s dog Aika, who would already like to go for a run.
It takes a chicken egg with it as a running buddy.