Verbal, passive, positive, physical…there are different ways to express aggression. While this behavior may be completely normal, when it becomes excessive or repetitive, it may need to be addressed. How to recognize the signs?
What is aggression?
“Aggression is a conscious or unconscious behavior that is characterized by verbal or physical abusedimmableexplains Dr. Patrick Lemoine. It is a characteristic of life. Without it, no species can survive. The problem is to identify the moment when it becomes excessive, even abnormal“. It can express itself towards other people, objects or turn against oneself. It can be generated by instincts such as fear, jealousy or protection of loved ones.
It is manifested by different signs:
► The muscle contraction. The facial features are harsh, dilated pupilsthe body is tense.
► The gestures are more numerous and disorderly, sometimes threatening, like a finger pointing at the interlocutor. Often the safety distance decreases, face to face.
► The chosen words are provocative and hurtful either in order to encourage the interlocutor to fight or to lower him to gain the upper hand.
► Sometimes aggression can bring violence : the person throws insults or objects or even physically attacks the other person or turns their aggressiveness against themselves (suicide, self-mutilation, etc.).
It is characterized by:
- A harsh tone and acerbic;
- A voice volume is higher: the person speaks louder, even shouts;
- The chosen words are intended to criticize, hurt, humiliate or demean the person;
- Sometimes the insults fuse.
“It’s a more hidden aggressiveness and sometimes difficult to detect because, from the outside, the person appears calm and serene. But she opposes “toxic” behavior which can manifest in different ways“, explains Dr. Lemoine. It can be:
► One silence total during the conversation;
► laconic phrases as “if you want”, “it doesn’t matter”, “ok”… in order to annoy the other;
► From fake compliments : double-edged phrases that sound more like insults than niceties, like “you’re pretty like that, you see that you did well to go on a diet“, “congratulations on your promotion, I didn’t think you would make it”…;
► The omission of information : the passive-aggressive consciously decides not to share the information he has in order to let his interlocutor manage or keep him in a difficult situation;
► The procrastination. The passive-aggressive person will comply with the demands of his interlocutor but will do so knowingly much later. This both to gain the upper hand but also to express its opposition.
We are talking positive aggression or “healthy aggressiveness”, when instead of being verbal or physical violence directed against a person, with the aim of hurting or belittling them, it is driven by a will to fight. It is then a force that pushes us to defend ourselves. “She is in particular essential for athletes as soon as there is competition“, specifies the psychiatrist.
What diseases cause abnormal aggression?
Aggression can also be associated with pathologies such as epilepsy, psychosis or neuroses. “EIt may also be due to the influence of substances such as alcohol, psychotropic drugs (amphetamines, LSD, cocaine…) or certain medications like cortisone, L-DOPA, Levothyrox…“, adds our expert.
What hides aggression?
When it is negative and recurrent, aggression can hide an affective and relational deficiency in childhood. The person then “explodes” as soon as his needs are not recognized and met. Passive aggression is often the prerogative of people manipulative or even perversely narcissistic.
Already, becoming aware of his behavior and the sometimes futile character that puts you in this state. “The practice of relaxation, meditation, yoga, physical activity or soft gym or on the contrary a martial art, fencing, karate… can help to better manage their emotionsrecommends Dr. Lemoine. If this is not enough, resorting to a cognitive and behavioral therapy could be beneficial“. With a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a psychotherapist, you will understand the origin of your aggressiveness and treat its manifestations in order to be able to get rid of it or use it positively.
Thanks to Dr. Patrick Lemoine, psychiatrist and author of “And fidelity brothel”, Eds. Albin Michael.