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At the end of the day, doing homework with your children can be a difficult time. However, certain phrases, spoken out of anger, should be banned, because they are counterproductive. Here’s what you shouldn’t say to your children when doing homework.
Math exercises, English homework… All parents must, at one time or another, confront their children’s homework. Whether to supervise the work done or to help understand a problem, homework is almost a “ritual of passage”, which some parents succeed in better than others. However, there are certain phrases to ban, otherwise you risk discouraging your offspring. Here are the ones.
“You do your homework now and hurry up!”
You want to motivate your child or teenager to work straight away from school, hence the choice to pronounce this sentence, half-threatening, half-motivating. But far from boosting him, these words make him feel that as soon as he returns home, he must already plunge his nose into his notebooks again. Which is, let’s face it, somewhat discouraging. Rather than doing homework immediately, your child should be able to unwind from the school day. We can therefore let him have a snack in peace and discuss his day, before tackling homework.
“You forgot your things again!”
A child (or even a teenager) may be distracted. Adults are too: who has never forgotten an important document at work? Once again, instead of blaming your child, you should instead show indulgence and try to repair this oversight, by contacting a friend (or his parents) who can send him the photo of the forgotten lesson.
“Why don’t you work on your own?”
Not having to take care of your child’s homework can be tempting for some parents. But working independently can be learned. There is no question of leaving a child alone with their homework, at the risk of them doing it all wrong or worse, not doing it at all. This will come with time (and age), but at the beginning of his schooling, you will have to supervise your child’s homework, and gradually teach him to do it alone (without forgetting to check the answers and test him with a surprise dictation , For example).
“Calm down! Why are you getting angry?”
Homework should not be a source of frustration and anger, otherwise it will become an ordeal for the parent and the child. If you feel that you are starting to get angry, it is better to hand over to the other parent, who will be able to explain differently or give yourself a little time to breathe and then start again. Also think about YouTube videos, teachers explain certain concepts in a clear and educational way. This can be a way to better understand for your child.
“You will stay at your desk until you are finished!”
Chaining your child to their desk will have no effect on their academic learning. So there’s no point in pinning him to his chair under the pretext that he hasn’t understood something or that he has to finish his homework first. This will only have the effect of frustrating him by pointing out his weaknesses. Better to let him change his mind, before returning to the notion that escapes him in a more serene manner.
“You never understand anything! You’re stupid!”
Aside from deflating your child’s self-esteem, this sentence will absolutely do nothing to help the situation. When a child stumbles over a concept, it is possible to present things to him from different angles, so that he can understand better.
If, despite all your efforts, he does not understand what you are explaining to him, you have several options: ask a third person to try to explain it to him, in other words and in his own way, notify his or her teacher, so that she explains it to him again in class or look for a video on the subject, which may perhaps allow him to better understand the concept which escapes him.