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Marie Lanen
Head of parenting sections (baby, pregnancy, family), psychology and beauty
If children are (most of the time) the very definition of joy in life; certain phrases spoken may reveal that they are not doing well. Here are three that may indicate to you that they are going through a difficult time.
Young children sometimes have difficulty expressing their emotions, particularly their discomfort. In the columns of HuffPost, Dr. Michelle Forcier, clinician at Folx Health reveals three phrases that children can say when they are not feeling well emotionally.
“I need to talk to you”
If your child lets you know that he needs to talk to you about a specific subject, you need to be attentive. This can be translated into different phrases such as “I need to talk to you” or “I would like to chat”. Good news, if your child comes to you, it’s because he trusts you. Your response must therefore be adapted to the situation and it is important to remain available to discuss with your child. Doctor Michelle Forcier suggests responding as follows: “I hear your need and want to know more. Can we wait 20 minutes until I hang up with…then we can sit down and have all the time you need to talk and for me to listen.”
“I’m rubbish”
If your child regularly utters sentences in which he devalues himself, this may reveal deep discomfort. These sentences can be very explicit such as “I’m rubbish”, or “I’m stupid”; but they can also be more “discreet” like “I don’t want to go to school anymore”. It is essential to explore the subject with your child in order to pinpoint the reasons that push your child to express such things. “I encourage parents to look into the subject to find out what the source of their concerns might be.“, says Chinwé Williams, a parenting consultant interviewed by HuffPost.
“Everyone would be better off without me.”
Phrases such as “I wish I had never been born”, “everyone would be better off without me”, “I wonder how many people would come to my funeral?” or even “I have no reason to live” are real warning signs that your child is feeling very unwell. It does not minimize these phrases and emotions felt. Experts advise taking the time to talk with the child to find out more about what he or she is feeling. Also, do not hesitate to rephrase their sentences in order to clarify the situation. According to psychologist Elisabeth Kane “Your child may not directly say he wants to hurt himself.” You must therefore be doubly attentive to your words and behavior, especially if it changes suddenly. If you are having difficulty communicating with your child, it is better to consult a specialist – psychologist or child psychiatrist – so as not to let the situation get worse.
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