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While the term narcissistic personality is generally attributed to men, a new study reshuffles the cards a little: in women, narcissism translates differently, but contains just as much physical and verbal violence, which more often goes under the radar.
What does the term narcissist mean to you? Typically, a toxic person in the guise of a man. Which is a fact: Today, up to 75% of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men. But according to new research published in Sex Roles, this disorder is more complex than that and affects both genders, with different attributes. Narcissistic women are not gentler than men, they are capable of just as much violence (marital, psychological, etc.).
Different manifestations depending on gender
Narcissism is thus a complex personality trait. Although full-fledged narcissistic personality disorder is not very common (1 to 2% of the population), we all suffer from narcissism to varying degrees. But the traits of a narcissistic personality can be expressed in two forms: grandiose or vulnerable, the study tells us.
- People who exhibit more grandiose traits are self-confident and socially dominant;
- People who exhibit more vulnerable characteristics are introverted and have lower self-esteem;
- Both forms share an antagonistic core, demonstrated by high levels of entitlement and a willingness to exploit others.
In this context, narcissistic men usually come together in a “grandiose” form. Dominant and self-confident, they sometimes resort to violence. Threats to their self-esteem can arouse feelings of wounded pride, leading to aggressive behavior.
In women, narcissism is more vulnerable, that is, narcissistic women will be prey to a certain emotional vulnerability, low self-esteem and inhibition. However, there is a risk in interpreting women’s narcissism as less harmful due to their initial “softer”, more caring, passive, and vulnerable presentation than men. Under this personality, they can indeed be quite devoid of empathy and harbor high levels of entitlement and a willingness to exploit others.
Narcissistic women are just as dangerous as men
In different ways, men and women can be aggressive or violent, and research has identified this. The study in question included 328 adults (176 women and 152 men), and examined the complex dynamics between childhood experiences, narcissism and the perpetration of intimate partner violence in men and women.
Participants completed an online survey and were asked about their personality traits to capture both grandiose and vulnerable characteristics of narcissism. Participants were also asked to indicate any conflicts that may have arisen in their past or present intimate relationships. Men scored higher on grandiose narcissism, while women scored higher on vulnerable narcissism, confirming earlier findings.
Grandiose narcissism in men was associated with greater perpetration of psychological violence between partners, such as controlling, bullying, or manipulating. In contrast, grandiose narcissism in men was surprisingly not associated with perpetration of physical violence.
Even more surprising, vulnerable narcissism in women was linked to greater perpetration of physical, sexual and psychological violence between partners. The team concluded that women were more likely to react violently in an attempt to regulate their self-esteem.
Spotting Narcissistic Women
Violence is therefore not the prerogative of men. But this, in women, is often hidden behind societal expectations that consider women to be benevolent and passive.
According to this study, the reality is different: narcissistic women are not only verbally aggressive, as studies usually describe. They are also physically violent towards their partners. Their tactics can include:
- Threats of (false) allegations of abuse;
- Denial of intimacy and affection;
- Exploitation of their motherhood to turn their children against their partner;
- Physically assaulting their partner under the excuse of self-defense to gain the sympathy of the judicial authorities.
“Our research challenges the stereotype that women are always the victims of abusive relationships. This balanced understanding promotes a more nuanced view of relationship dynamics and gender roles in intimate relationships. By studying the characteristics of narcissism in women, we can better recognize and unmask their true nature.” conclude the researchers.
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