She is convinced that happiness can be learned. Dr. Laurie Santos, a professor of psychology and cognitive science at Yale, has taught the most popular course in her university’s history every year since 2018. His subject: the science of happiness. The free version of this course, available onlinehas been a huge success, as has its podcast, Happiness Lab, which has been downloaded more than 90 million times since its launch in 2019.
Little surprising, when we observe the pessimism of his compatriots: an Ipsos poll published in 2022 revealed that less than 20% of Americans indicated that they were “very happy”. In the same year, more than a quarter of adults said they were too stressed to live normally, according to a study by the American Psychological Association. On the other side of the Atlantic, the French are not left out: 2.5 million people suffer from depression each year. And the consumption of anxiolytics to treat it continues to increase. Not to mention anxiolytics, the boom in personal development – also from the United States – in French bookstores is also an illustration of this search for better living. But for Laurie Santos, this frantic search for “improvement” could be, paradoxically, one of the factors of our wave to the soul. Interview.
L’Express: Would you say that our perpetual desire to improve ourselves makes us unhappy?
Dr. Laurie Santos: It really depends on how we go about it. Sometimes when we engage in self-improvement, we may be able to do so with compassion, without self-blame. As part of that, it can honestly make us happier in the long run. Conversely, I think that this quest can be to the detriment of our happiness when we attack it in an almost military way, without leaving us the choice to be anything other than perfect.
When you engage in a process of self-improvement, you have to make sure you do it with a lot of compassion. Allow yourself to understand that no, you are not perfect and cannot be. Try to notice the emotions you feel in this context: do I feel guilty? Ashamed ? These signals are an alarm. They don’t necessarily tell you that you don’t want to improve, but that you should probably consider doing something else. To choose a softer – and more effective – way to move forward.
How, precisely, to reconcile our desire to improve ourselves and that of being happy? Is it compatible?
This is where self-compassion comes in. Sometimes when we want to produce something good, when we want to force ourselves into a new routine, I tend to think we’re self-correcting more than of reason. Unfortunately, we are used to thinking that it is shame and blame that will change our behavior. However, the latest research shows that this is absolutely not the case.
In fact, this habit is more counterproductive than anything else. When you want to build a better habit and you talk badly to yourself, you’re more likely to give in to procrastination, which can mean you’ll do less well in the long run. To overcome this pitfall, the best way is, as I said earlier, to first show empathy and compassion for yourself. Then, remember to talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend if you wanted to redirect him, encourage him. Avoiding guilt is one of the best strategies to improve ourselves, while being happier.
Let’s talk productivity: we see more and more advice ensuring that you should avoid ‘multitasking’, namely the fact of carrying out several tasks at the same time. To be more efficient, there is no need to constantly interrupt yourself to check your emails, or respond to the last urgent request from a colleague. What do you think ?
This is very important advice. Multi-tasking just doesn’t work. Today, we have come to understand that “multitasking” diverts our attention from activities that could actually make us happier. To be succinct, you have to think of a principle: you will be happier overall if your brain focuses on a single task.
If you scatter, you’re not only less effective: you’re actively making yourself unhappy. Moreover, you are not even able to identify what can be the source of happiness or joy, because your concentration is scattered.
In the United States, research is increasingly interested in the negative side of productivity: workaholism, or “work addiction”. At the beginning of the year, the Google Scholar site counted 35 times more articles on the subject in English than in French. Do you think it is possible to be productive, while avoiding this pitfall?
Absolutely, with a solution: make sure you actually have friends at work. This will trigger a sense of belonging in you, an emotion that will make you more productive. It may seem counter-intuitive to you, but if you want to achieve your professional goals, engaging in human relations on the spot can make it easier for you to do so. However, this is not done anyhow: human relationships take time. A time you won’t have if you’re locked into your addiction to work.
At the beginning of the year, a very nice study was published by the Harvard Study of Adult Development. This multi-year project has followed people throughout their lives, from their teenage years, through their college years, to their adult lives. The bottom line is pretty clear: over the long term, the things that have the biggest impact on our happiness and health are human connections. This study is a real warning for those of us who invest a lot in our work, to the detriment of the rest.
A recent study by the Ifop polling institute showed that the majority of French people – 58% – consider work above all as a way of meeting their needs. To be happy, is it better to find meaning in one’s work, or to seek it elsewhere, in other spheres?
Current research shows that having a “good life” is not just about hedonism, about having positive emotions and exciting experiences. It’s more about making sure you’re doing something meaningful. For my part, I am inspired by the work of Amy Wrzesniewski, who is a professor at the Yale School of Management. She has worked a lot on what she calls “job crafting”. The concept simply brings together everything that can give us the means to inject value into our work: schedule, organizations, missions, responsibilities… It is a state of mind that allows us to manage the paradox to which the youngest generations face.
To give up finding meaning in your work is to cut yourself off from part of what we need to be happy. By being present at work, by managing to make your daily life count, you can really use your job as an outlet for your happiness. But you have to learn to manage it.
You use the concept of “time affluence” a lot – which could be translated as “abundance of time”, or, more literally, “time richness” – which, according to you, is essential in the search for happiness. . When we run after time on a daily basis, how to increase this capital?
It’s an individual decision: if you don’t reclaim your time, no one else will. It’s essential: having more time – or having control of it – allows us to make better decisions, to be happier. We are entering a century that will be characterized by the poverty of time. This comes at the expense of ourselves and our happiness, but also at the expense of our productivity. If you ever find yourself in a managerial or executive position, I think it’s important that you give back time to your employees, whether it’s in the weekly organization of the week, or by allowing them to take a real disconnected vacation. work. It is these cuts that will allow them to be much more productive afterwards.
You often say that we, as a species, are particularly bad at being happy. How do you explain it?
Quite simply, I would say that our mind is lying to us when it comes to happiness. We always think that earning more money – when we already earn a lot – or having a promotion at work will allow us to reach the next level. That will make us happier. But this is often a mirage.
If I had to sum up our discussion, I would say that getting closer to happiness often involves first having a little more free time than you already have. Next, more self-compassion. Finally, to be able to engage more in human relationships, and to find value in one’s work and daily tasks. All of these things seem basic, but are necessary if you want to be happy. Alas, we don’t work at it with the same diligence that we apply to a fitness program, or to getting a promotion at work. If you really want happiness, invest seriously in the things that will improve your daily well-being.