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Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
It is not uncommon to experience an unsatisfying relationship. On the other hand, what we can understand less is why the person stays despite the fact that they do not feel fulfilled. How to explain it? Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist, enlightens us.
Many people are unhappy with their relationship. If some take the bull by the horns and end up separating, others continue this route, without changing things. How to explain it?
Fear of loneliness, the first reason that explains this situation
When questioned, psychologist Amélie Boukhobza puts forward “fear of loneliness” as the main reason. “The idea of being alone is often scarier than enduring an unsatisfying relationship.“explains the expert. But that’s not the only reason.”Attachment, even to a dysfunctional relationship, is another reason. Shared memories and emotional ties make separation difficult.”
Other possible reasons: comfort and common living habits can also keep individuals in unsatisfactory relationships. “Changing your life can seem unsettling and scary” specifies the psychologist. “Just like the afraid of the jjudgment and family obligations, other common reasons that can deter leaving a relationship.”.
Finally, some people have hope that the partner will change or “They have hope that things will improve.” still lists our specialist. Without finally forgetting the financial question, because “The idea of having to provide for yourself alone can be terrifying for some people.” finally believes Amélie Boukhobza.
The psychologist also reveals ways to change things. We must realize that “attachment should not justify suffering” explains Amélie Boukhobza.
To assess the situation with an objective eye, she advises “to honestly evaluate the positive and negative aspects of the relationship. Then make a balance: if the negative prevails, it is because we must consider changes otherwise we risk getting stuck in a feeling of impasse responsible for other ills such as chronic stress or depressionFor example”.
The specialist also recommends that people who are afraid of taking responsibility from a financial point of view “plan financially for their departure”, but also to surround themselves with positive people, to be able to discuss and exchange without being judged.
Finally, she recommends seeing a therapist to work on the separation and understand that you deserve a healthy and fulfilling relationship. “Getting out of it necessarily involves recognizing and accepting that the relationship is not suitable. Understanding that remaining in an unsatisfactory relationship is beneficial neither for yourself nor for your partner” she concludes.
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