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Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
The simple contact with other people, their successes, their topics of conversation can sometimes put us in a bad place, without much explanation. Why do we feel this negative emotion and how to overcome it? Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, helps us see things more clearly.
You are not what we could call an “antisocial” person, but you have to recognize it: the presence of certain people or certain interactions plunge you directly into a horrible mood (like this colleague who tells you so much about her vacations were perfect! Or this dad who is surprised by his baby’s long nights). But is it really other people’s fault?
It is a relationship with oneself that is revealed in bad mood
If truly unsympathetic or malicious people exist, it is often a matter of looking at yourself: when bad moods often come back, it probably comes from… you!
“The bad mood triggered by others is generally linked to our own emotional reactions, influenced by our expectations, our past experiences and our current psychological state. Even when someone pushes us to the limit, it really tickles something in We !” supports Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist and member of our Doctissimo expert committee.
The whole question of understanding one’s own reaction is therefore to take a step aside, and try to be lucid:
“What does the other person or their behavior awaken inside us? What does they press on to ultimately trigger our bad mood? Or, perhaps, what do we project onto them?” evokes our expert. But the answer is often the same:
“My annoyance Is it really due to the other, or is it just the trigger of frustration? The reality is that our reaction might be less about the other person and more about ourselves!”
Good in his body, good in his head!
Overcome social bad mood
The fact remains that, even if you are aware of your own flaws, it is not always easy to get rid of this bad mood or this daily rumination. To avoid coming across as an embittered person, however, there is work to be done on yourself.
- “To counter this effect, it may be beneficial to develop better awareness of ourselves and others. That is to say, not only recognizing our emotional triggers – our weak points, where it hurts – but also understand our own reactions” evokes Amélie Boukhobza. To do this, try to clarify the different situations that have annoyed you to obtain an overview and highlight your sensitive subjects.
- It is also necessary to regularly remind yourself and accept that others have ways of thinking and acting that differ from ours, and that this does not have to upset you.
- “Finally, rather than getting carried away and letting a bad mood set in, it’s best to pause, step back, and think about the situation before responding impulsively.”
However, if a particular person is undermining your morale or affecting your mental health, it may be time to take action and put some distance. “Sometimes it’s crucial to recognize our limits in terms of tolerance and establish healthy boundaries with others. This can play a significant role in reducing emotional friction and helping to maintain a healthy and necessary distance, without compromising the integrity of our social relations“.