Published on
updated on
Reading 2 min.
From a very young age, boys are often pushed to hide their emotions. In adulthood, this habit persists and many men – regardless of the context – are incapable of showing the slightest sign of weakness. How to explain it? Christian Richomme, psychoanalyst, answers our questions.
For centuries, a man’s virility and courage have been associated with a strong, stoic character, showing no emotion. This is how the common idea that little boys should not show that they are in pain or should not cry “like girls” has gained ground.
If things change a little, in 2024, this idea is still widespread. “An ideal that is no longer necessarily relevant today.” recalls therapist Christian Richomme.
There are three types of men when it comes to emotions
According to the expert, we can classify men into three categories when it comes to their emotions. “There is the man we are going to call”hypersensitive“, he listens to his emotions and has no problem consulting a therapist, if he feels the need” first defines our expert.
Then there is a second type of man, “who will confide only in his wife, who will advise him after a certain time to consult a professional” adds Christian Richomme. “And there is the third type, the men who never show anything, any emotion and who don’t talk about their problems to anyone.”
The physical impact of emotional silence in men
If one might think that the subject is anecdotal, in reality, it is nothing of the sort. “Not communicating about one’s emotions pushes men to deny their humanity and this has repercussions on their physical and mental health. further indicates the specialist. “On the physical level, we will notice sleep disordersfood, the installation of addictive behavior… Without forgetting the mental consequences, such as ruminations, the possible appearance of depression or psychosis”, he lists. Before recalling that men have “three times more likely to commit suicide than women“.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Finding a more authentic masculinity
For Christian Richomme, today, things must change and this is already the case in certain areas. “Lhe new representations of men in the media — whether in cinema, in music or even through public figures — show men who cry, who talk about their fears, and who allow themselves to be vulnerable. These new images offer alternative models, closer to human reality.” he analyzes.
“Today, therapists encourage men to release pent-up emotions to avoid devastating effects on their mental and physical well-being.”. To get help, it is possible to follow cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT in order to deconstruct beliefs – which can be deeply rooted – such as “to cry is to be weak” or “I must be able to manage on my own”. “A real man is a man who is afraid” insists the expert again. “It is essential for him to be aware of his weaknesses in order to move forward” he concludes.
Slide: 10 preconceived ideas about men