All he is missing is the scepter and the oak of Louis IX. After the quasi-psychopath manager and the fugitive, here is the omniscient manager. A leader who acts as leader, without playing carrots and sticks, ready to cover his team in front of the Codir. Altier, he impresses and he likes to shine. Talk, even chat. It’s a change from being silent, this “gossip” side that knows everything about everyone. Yet someone told me/That you still loved me/It was someone who told me that you still loved me, whispers Carla Bruni in a domain other than that of the office. We are a little disturbed by this “know-it-all” side, even if this political ease allows him to know who does what, how to approach that one and what the habits of this one are. A manager who does not hesitate to give personal details about a colleague, which he has probably already done with those who give us the cold shoulder. Narcissistic, manipulative and insinuating, this manager is one hundred percent divisive: monarch or puppeteer, he spends most of his time organizing a collective of competing individualisms.
“It can shatter the good atmosphere in a team,” emphasizes Sandrine Weisz, journalist responsible for training at ITG Formation and author of Working with difficult personalities (Dunod, 2022). He plays on rivalry by favoring some to the detriment of others. He also spreads information to provoke jealousy (“I learned that he has an apartment right on the water from where he teleworks while I have difficulty paying my rent”), anger (“he is the boss’s favorite even though he does nothing”), resentment (“why did he get a raise when I do more than him?”). What is the point if not to preserve one’s power and to pull the emotional threads? The emergence of clans, backbiting, and quick-thinking replace the collective, camaraderie and mutual aid. “Everyone is vulnerable to manipulation,” says the expert.
The group no longer exists, it is now a sum of individualisms which organize survival strategies so that the great calculator promotes them. “We don’t see it immediately, but as soon as there are weak signals, the process is underway.” For example, this manager flatters more than he compliments. We even thought we were his friend. “In the context of management, being “buddy-buddy” means falling into a system of favoritism. Indeed, cronyism at work consists of favoring certain individuals to the detriment of others for subjective reasons. When other employees realize this cronyism, a feeling of injustice is created. Disengagement can occur as well as the deterioration of team cohesion”, specifies Julien Godefroy (Take a manager position, Eyrolles, 2023). If he is also narcissistic, we are neither his friend nor his equal, but at best his courtier: “don’t expect tit-for-tat”, warn François Lelord and Christophe André (New difficult personalitiesOdile Jacob, 2021).
The narcissistic personality does not in fact feel obliged to reciprocate “since it thinks that it deserves what you give it”, specify the psychiatrists. “So avoid falling into the ‘the nicer I am to her, the nicer she will be to me’ attitude. If he’s your boss, don’t put your self-esteem on the line too much when you’re with him,” they insist. . Never grant him favors that you don’t want to repeat. “We need to alert others,” advises Sandrine Weisz. Foil his plans. Confront him with his contradictions, reveal what he says so that everyone is aware. “It is capable of showing only part of your email”, always to confuse. In a meeting, clarify from the start what was agreed with him. “By updating everything, he will no longer dare to act like this.” Recreate the collective with allies of choice: the younger generations. For them, the ideal manager contributes to their well-being within the company through fulfilling work and recognition (Opinion barometer on young people and business, November 2023, Jean Jaurès Macif Foundation, BVA). Finally, the very current analysis of Jean de la Fontaine in the 17th century will perhaps be contradicted: “depending on whether you are powerful or miserable, the court judgments will make you white or black” (Animals sick with the plague, The Fables).