Our parenting style may have something to do with our place in the family we grew up with. Oldest, middle or youngest child… Which parents become so serious, or willingly more carefree?
His place in the family would say a lot about an individual’s personality. Different studies have even shown that parents do not educate the eldest, the youngest and the youngest in the same way. The eldest takes the brunt of the burden and it is often on his shoulders that the greatest demands fall. The youngest is often considered the “favorite child”, the one who has more freedom, who is tender, seeks attention and to whom everything is forgiven. As for the middle child, he sometimes feels neglected and suffers from the lack of attention from his parents. He is neither the long-awaited first-born nor the cute youngest.
But according to American family therapist Kati Morton, birth order also has an impact on how these grown-up children raise their own children. In an interview with the American website Pure Wow, the specialist explains that “Birth order can shape personality traits and behaviors, which can influence parenting styles“. Our parenting style would therefore be largely correlated to our place in the sibling group, and therefore to the type of education received from our parents. A different education depending on whether we are the eldest, very serious, or the youngest, a little crazy. “For example, firstborns may be more structured and authoritarian, while middle children may be more flexible and diplomatic, and younger children may adopt a more relaxed and permissive parenting style.”explains Kati Morton.
The eldest would thus tend to reproduce his own education. Being the one who must always set an example leaves its mark. More responsible, more serious, he can also be more intransigent and authoritarian. In terms of education, this has real advantages, such as being very structured and goal-oriented. But it also has a downside. Your children may find their uncle much more fun than their father…
The middle child who in turn becomes a parent would be “more flexible, more egalitarian and more competent in interpersonal dynamics”explains the therapist. Caught between the eldest and the youngest, he is used to maintaining balance and peace within the family. When he becomes a parent, he is more patient, more conciliatory, but on the other hand tends to avoid conflicts.
And the youngest then?Unlike the eldest and middle child, the youngest are generally more relaxed, permissive and playful,” observes Kati Morton. Less structured, but nicer, he is the parent who values and encourages. But be careful, as the specialist reminds us, being a parent also means knowing how to say no and set a framework.