If constantly justifying your vision of parenthood is exhausting you, here are some well-crafted replies that should put the few curious people in their place.
“I don’t have children, so what?“If, like many couples, you have lived together for a long time, it is possible that you are regularly asked about your desire to have children. And if you are already parents, you will not escape the logical conclusion either: “When do you have a little brother or sister?” Or “When is the second one due?”. These strictly intimate questions too often become the subject of inappropriate discussions, so make it known. Especially since the reasons are yours and they are not always the result of your own will. Whether your responses are sincere, tinged with humor or particularly direct, follow these few communication tips which should refocus your indiscreet interlocutors.
Play the honesty card
Generally, the honest answer is the least desirable option. And yet, it is the best way to cut the conversation short. Like 30% of women, you may simply not want children, but it is also possible that you have experienced a miscarriage or are unable to get pregnant. So when we ask you “when are you having a baby?“, here are some ideas for perfectly honest answers:
- “Unfortunately we won’t have any”, or “we can’t do it”
- Do you authorize me to make a choice different from yours?
- I love my sleep too much to have children.
- Children deserve parents who want children, right?
- I love my friends’ kids, but I don’t feel the need to have any right now
- We prefer to enjoy our youth a little longer, and travel
Surprise with political arguments
By justifying yourself on the question of parenthood with precise figures or sentences straight out of a social magazine, your audience could well be left speechless. Here are some examples :
- It costs more than 1000 euros per month to raise a child in France, I prefer to spend this money on myself.
- I am reducing my carbon footprint.
- I don’t want them, and if I change my mind when it’s “too late”, I’ll be happy to adopt them.
- I still have time, and if necessary, I will freeze my eggs
- Children, you say? In the current situation?
- Thanks for the pressure, do you know the fertility lobby?
Focus on humor
While humorous expressions tend to hide discomfort, they can be scathing when expressed seriously. Often easier to express, here is a selection of ironic replies:
- I suffer from tokophobia (fear of pregnancy).
- Ah, but I already have some: Medor and Pompom.
- I can’t even keep a plant alive.
- I hate cartoons.
- I am obsessed with cleaning.
- I prefer to be the “rich” and cool aunt.
Make her person uncomfortable, in turn
Despite everything, the message sometimes has difficulty getting across. And if the situation seems unbearable to you, nothing prevents you from clarifying the indiscreet discussion that is looming. It’s about your body, your relationship, your life. These few answers can be effective:
- And you ? It’s for when ?
- For what ? Are you afraid of not becoming grandparents?
- I’m afraid my kids will be nosy and say inappropriate things, much like you do.
- Yes, yes, it’s not visible? I’m just 8 months pregnant (say while drinking a glass of wine)
- It’s my duty to end the family curse…
This should give you some ideas for your next family reunion.