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Stéphane Clerget (Child psychiatrist)
Some parents can’t imagine it, but at Doctissimo we asked ourselves the question: what would happen if we let children do whatever they want? Here are the answers from Dr Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist and author of “The Spiritual Intelligence of Your Child” published by Leduc.
Imagine for a moment letting a child do whatever he wants… If the scenario is unthinkable for some parents, the experiment has already been tried, as Dr. Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist, explains to us.
What does a child do when we let him?
In these experiments, the children, alone or in groups of different ages, were left to their own devices. “When there are several children, they tend to be limited in their actions, by the group effect but also by the fact that very often, a leader takes the upper hand. explains the specialist. “The youngest imitate the older ones, there is also a protective effect of the group.”
A child alone, on the other hand, will spontaneously go to play.”A single child will go more towards a leisure activity, in the broad sense, a discovery of the world. This may be similar to certain forms of education where the child is left independent. adds the doctor.
A child has needs that the adult must meet
Letting the child develop independently does not mean not meeting his or her needs. “A child has primary needs, he must be fed, washed, changed… But also emotional needs, attention to which the parent must respond” recalls Dr. Clerget. Letting a child do whatever he wants also means not putting limits on him. However, they are essential for the good development of the child.
Set a framework and limits, for the child’s psychological balance
As we can read on the site 1000premiersjours.fr, “children need a framework and limits. This helps ensure their physical safety because young children are not aware of the dangers that surround them. These rules are also reassuring and reassuring, especially when they are applied with constancy. It gives children guidelines.”
A fact confirmed by the specialist: “Children evolve by imitating their parents, they solicit them and demand their attention. In return, the role of the parent is effectively to provide a framework for the child, to teach him how to live with others, how to live in society , the limits to which he can go...”.
Would saying no to your child be a necessary step? According to Dr. Clerget, it is essential. “We can’t do everything in society. Teaching your child not to be “social” means teaching them to respect the limits of others, the rules of life in society and respect for the individuals around them..