Over the years, men invest more and more in their role as fathers. They change diapers, get up (sometimes) at night, give the bottle… And receive praise from “Super Dad”. Society tends to sanctify fathers, praise them… and deepen domestic inequalities.
“You’re lucky, he helps you a lot with baby!”, “Oh, that’s cute, bottle-feeding dad“… Today’s fathers who care for babies or children are immediately praised and praised. by the Society. The involvement of fathers then seems to be an exception, while that of mothers refers to maternal instinct, to the obvious.
Indeed, mothers, who most often manage baby’s meals, get up at night, give the breast or bottle, bath, change diapers, take the children to the pediatricianat school, in extra-curricular activities… Do not receive any praise. This new trend that sanctifies fathers at the slightest effort now has an official name: the “Dad blessing”. And only increases the inequalities in parental tasks while making the mental burden of mothers invisible.
“As soon as a father gets involved, society applauds”
“The myth of maternal instinct is tenacious. Whatever the mothers do, it will be perceived as normal since it would come naturally to them. So as soon as a father gets involved, society applauds. explains sociologist Illana Weizman, author of This is our postpartum, to Ouest-France. According to her, although new fathers are more involved than before, statistics show that‘we are “still a long way from equity in parenting“.
“In the eyes of the family, he is a great dad”
Jessica, mother of Leo, 11 months, testifies to this. “The dad changes the baby’s diaper only when I’m not there and he has no choice (he even waits for me to come home sometimes when the baby has had a bowel movement). Same thing for meals, the bath, or to accompany baby to the nanny. And for care (vitamins, cleaning of the nose, ears, etc.), it’s always me who manages. Yet, it is he who, in the eyes of the family and those around us, who is a “great dad”. I also, they say, “very lucky to have a man who helps me“but why shouldn’t it be the mother who helps the father instead?” asks the young mother. Thus, the Dad Blessing masks the mental burden of mothers, who deserve to be applauded first.