Trauma dumping: when some people dump their negative emotions on others

You may have already found yourself in this situation where a person you have just met during an evening grabs you and dumps you, without you seeing it coming, all their misfortunes. As you headed for the kitchen for the sole purpose of filling your glass, you are confronted with the (too) intimate confidences of someone you barely know! A breakup, a case of harassment at work, even bereavement… Some people indeed feel the irrepressible need to share their negative emotions linked to a traumatic event, including with vague acquaintances, even complete strangers! But this attitude can quickly become very oppressive, even distressing, for the interlocutor if the latter has not given his consent to embark on this kind of conversation. This is called “trauma dumping”.

“Trauma dumping”: definition

In English, the word “dumping” literally means “discharge” or “discharge”. Used by psychologists, the term trauma dumping evokes a one-way conversation, during which someone pours out their negative emotions and/or experiences to another person, but without ensuring that this person is ready to receive or even to hear these words.

“When we discuss trauma with someone who is not professionally prepared or trained, we risk that they will act or react in ways that will unknowingly reinforce the trauma experienced.“, explains Billie Katz assistant professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine of Mount Sinai (New York, United States), in an article published in 2021 by the Huff Post.

Are you a fan of “trauma dumping”?

Reading these lines, it is likely that you are wondering if you yourself have this unfortunate tendency to give into trauma dumping. If this feeling grows in you as you replay the movie of your last conversations in your head, do not panic. We all have more or less bouts of trauma dumping, especially at a time when we are encouraged to break taboos around mental health and to express our emotions (including negative ones).

If we take into account the current context and the crises that have followed one another in recent years (climate, pandemic, war in Ukraine, inflation), it is not surprising that many of us indulge in confidences that are not really very happy.

Nothing is more natural to confide in a loved one about your moods or a painful event in your life. But beware: it is important to ensure that the person you are opening up to is willing to share your emotions. The discussion must result in an exchange and not in an incessant flow of words which no longer gives the other the possibility of intervening. You can also try asking yourself if you are doing it in the right place at the right time. Exposing your worries in the middle of a party when you are surrounded by lots of other people who are partying can, for example, spoil the atmosphere!

If you are going through a difficult time and you feel the need to talk about it, or even let off steam, it is advisable to consult a specialist. “A therapist is the best option because that person is trained to listen carefully and help you process your emotions. your negative experiences,” explain to the site Insider American psychiatrist Tracey Marks. And if psychiatric practices are not your cup of tea, putting your emotions on paper by writing regularly (for example with a diary) can also prove beneficial and help you to evacuate your anxiety.

Trauma dumping is not the only type of social interaction based on the principle of “dumping”. More recently, the web has seen a phenomenon appear, which the Canadian dating application Plenty of Fish identifies as one of the major love trends of 2023. It is about “eco-dumping”… But in In this specific case, the meaning of the word “dumping” turns out to be radically different, since it is a question of dumping someone because we judge that he does not care enough about the planet. A particularly significant trend among members of Gen Z, in search of ecologically committed partners.