Apprehending childbirth is normal. But, in some women, this fear becomes a real phobia that can even lead to abandoning her desire to become a mother. Baptized “tokophobia”, this phenomenon remains unknown. What causes it and how to overcome it? We take stock with Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist specializing in perinatality.
“All pregnant women have a fear of childbirth, it’s perfectly normal. It becomes problematic when this fear becomes paralyzing to the point of leading to avoidance behavior and sometimes giving up on having a child”, poses Mathilde Bouychou straight away. While relatively rare, tokophobia is fueled by the current cultural and social climate. Fortunately, solutions exist to free yourself from it.
What is tokophobia?
From the Greek “tokos” (childbirth) and “phobos” (fear), tokophobia refers to the panic fear of childbirth, often associated with fear of pain and/or death. In some women, the anxiety is such that they renounce their desire for motherhood. Since 1997, tokophobia has been included in the International Classification of Diseases of the World Health Organization (WHO).
- This phobia can be consciousin which case the woman clearly expresses her fear and makes every effort to avoid becoming pregnant or to avoid vaginal delivery.
- We also speak of unconscious phobiain which case the woman complains of various and varied pains and expresses a latent anguish of which she is unable to determine the origin.
- We talk about primary tokophobia when this fear concerns a first pregnancy
- Secondary tokophobia refers to women who have ever been pregnant.
What are the causes of tokophobia?
Fears related to childbirth can be multiple. Tokophobia can be due to:
A traumatic story
The fact of having experienced a previous traumatic childbirth or that one’s own birth was traumatic can trigger tokophobia. “When you’re pregnant and about to give birth, the baby you once were is reactivated. The way it was expected, carried, how it was born, resurfaces from a sensory and emotional point of view, these are implicit memories“, indicates the psychologist specializing in perinatality.
The fear of letting go
Some women are afraid of giving birth because it’s a moment of letting go, a moment that you can’t control. “Women are faced with an event that they cannot control and as long as they have not experienced it, it is difficult to imagine it. You can read testimonials, watch videos, but each experience is unique. There is a very important part of the unknown“, details our interlocutor.
Over-medical follow-up
It is said that pregnancy is not a disease and yet the follow-up is over-medicalized in France, which is not the case in other countries. “There is a lot of talk about the risks associated with childbirth and there are many disturbing social and cultural representations of childbirth, which fuel women’s fears.“, argues Mathilde Bouychou.
The fear of revealing one’s intimacy
Childbirth is a great moment of intimacy that can be undermined. Women who have been victims of sexual violence can experience it very badly, because this event can come to reactivate things of the order of trauma. Hence the importance of clearly expressing your needs to the medical team.
Scary testimonies
Under the guise of freedom of speech, pregnancies and births that go wrong are over-mediatized. But dream deliveries do exist! “It is important to read other stories, other testimonies that do not speak only of the negative aspects of childbirth in order to be able to deconstruct these representations and build others. Above all, it is necessary to keep in mind that each experience is different!“, specifies the specialist.
What are the consequences of tokophobia?
Some women are so afraid of childbirth that they will give up getting pregnant or will ask for a so-called convenience cesarean. Still others may have an abortion when they wanted the baby or develop symptoms such as stomach aches, palpitations, sweats, colds and anxiety throughout their pregnancy.
What to do if you are really afraid of childbirth?
There are several avenues that can help a woman overcome tokophobia. “It is interesting to look at this time of pregnancy and childbirth through the prism of empowerment, and not only through the prism of risk. Women must become aware of the power of their bodies, of which they have been extremely dispossessed in the decades. If we do the work of reconnecting them to their bodies, to their skills, to what they have been able to do since the dawn of time (give life), childbirth can turn out to be an extraordinary experience and powerful when accompanied in this sense“, develops the clinical psychologist specializing in perinatality.
Moreover, even if it is true that childbirth is a risky moment and that everything can change in a few minutes, we can decide to see the glass half full or half empty, because this has a real influence on the how the birth will take place. When the anxiety is too intrusive, it is important to be accompanied because fear leads to disconnecting from your body and your baby.
Relaxation techniques like sophrology or hypnosis can help to manage your emotions and to apprehend this panic fear of childbirth. There behavioral and cognitive therapy (CBT) and EMDR are extremely effective therapies for deconstructing erroneous patterns. For some women, considering vaginal delivery is impossible, in which case the so-called “comfort” caesarean can be discussed with the medical team.
Does tokophobia also affect men?
Some men may be distressed at the thought of seeing their wives suffer during childbirth. They may even be afraid of losing it. A psychological follow-up is then necessary, because the fears of the future father must not affect his wife. He must do everything to support it.
Thanks to Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist specializing in perinatality. You can find her in the podcast Parentalité(s), educating is understanding.