“Technology is not neutral. We are part of what we create, and it is part of us. We live in a world of connections, and it is important to know which ones are made and which ones are broken,” wrote Donna Haraway, a great American philosopher, back in 1984. This quote remains just as relevant today, especially regarding dating apps. Although we are often tempted to oppose the real world to the digital world, the latter is now an extension of our lives, where the search for a partner can be played out. This is also a very widespread practice since a 2021 IFOP survey on a sample of 3,004 people showed that 30% of French people had already used dating sites or applications in France. The scale of this phenomenon intrigues researchers who are trying to understand
A study published in 2023 found that certain modalities of using the Tinder app were positively correlated with high levels of satisfaction. For example, having many online contacts or getting many “matches” [NDLR : attraction réciproque suivie d’une mise en relation via l’application] increased user satisfaction. Additionally, certain motivations, such as entertainment, social connection, or finding a romantic or sexual partner, were also associated with greater user satisfaction.
In contrast, using Tinder as a compensation strategy for mental health problems was less favorably associated with satisfaction. Thus, use aimed at managing negative emotions, compensating for socialization difficulties, regulating psychological stress related to attachment issues, sexual misery or relationship difficulties is linked to lower satisfaction. This suggests that users who turn to Tinder with the aim of resolving mental health problems are likely to be disappointed when they discover that the application does not meet their needs and expectations.
65.3% of Tinder users are already married or in a relationship
Another interesting aspect of this study is that the more matches users have, the less satisfied they are with their real-life dates. The authors offer several possible explanations. First, a large number of matches could lead to a feeling of overwhelm among users, making it difficult to select relevant partners. Second, a large number of matches could also be frustrating if they rarely result in dates. Finally, the constant search for a better match could lead to chronic dissatisfaction among users.
Two striking findings also emerge from this research. First, 65.3% of Tinder users are already married or in a relationship, suggesting that not all users are looking for a partner on the platform. While some may be considering cheating on their partner, others also appear to be there to initiate social interactions online. This last idea is supported by another figure: 49.7% of users say they simply want to chat online to overcome boredom, find excitement outside of their relationship, or deal with mental health issues. So there is a high risk of disillusionment for those who are sincerely looking for a partner, since not everyone plays by the same rules. The real motivations of many users are not always to find a sexual or romantic relationship.
A typical profile?
In light of the previous study, it is understandable that it is difficult to define a typical profile of the user of dating applications as the uses, needs and expectations of individuals are varied. Nevertheless, the scientific literature has focused on two types of users. A meta-analysis published in 2021 looked at the profile of those with intensive app use. It reveals certain personality traits, such as high sociability, an anxious attachment style, low self-regulation, a strong need for thrills and high sexual permissiveness.
Other studies focus more specifically on those who use dating apps to compensate for anxiety, depression, attachment disorders or even pathological fear of rejection. According to researcher Catalina Tomas, these dating apps would attract these vulnerable people more favorably because they allow them to have better control over their presentation, better control over conversations with partners, a greater choice of partners and less difficult rejection experiences.
The dangers associated with addiction and the culture of “objectification”
According to the previously mentioned meta-analysisone of the risks associated with the use of dating apps is excessive use that leads to psychological distress and significantly interferes with daily life. While there is little research on this issue, the authors note that two factors generally contribute to the emergence of this type of behavior: low self-esteem and the search for sexual relationships. This last factor echoes another risk of these apps: a greater number of risky sexual behaviors, such as the failure to use protection against sexually transmitted infections.
According to the meta-analysis, studies highlight other risks associated with dating apps, such as physical and psychological violence, including harassment and assault during in-person meetings. A final major risk identified in the studies is that experiencing sexual “objectification,” that is, being perceived as a sexual object or commodity on the “dating market” rather than as a person, reduces the desire to use these apps. This “objectification” could also lead to “self-objectification,” that is, seeing oneself as an object or commodity, which would have negative effects on mental health, including increasing symptoms of depression and eating disorders.
Recommendations for surviving in the jungle of apps
Dating app users therefore have varied uses, diverse motivations and are exposed to different risks. All of this can lead to what journalist and author Judith Duportail describes as “dating fatigue” in his latest workthat is, emotional exhaustion related to the use of dating apps. So, what do you need to know to navigate these sometimes hostile environments?
First, if you’re looking for love, know that many people on these apps don’t share that same goal. Many are using them to connect, stave off boredom, compensate for mental health issues, or feel a thrill by defying the restrictions of their current relationship. Second, if dating apps are becoming so central to your life that you’re feeling out of control, it might be beneficial to take a break and, if necessary, seek out a mental health professional.
Finally, be wary of the “objectification” of partners in these apps. If you feel that a potential partner views you as a sexual object or commodity, it is best to flee the situation. A person who views you in a utilitarian way will not be able to offer you a healthy and respectful relationship. Scientific studies have also shown that “objectification” is often a prelude to psychological and physical violence. On these platforms, it is essential to be aware that not everyone plays by the same rules and to know how to set limits to protect yourself.
* Séverine Erhel is a lecturer in cognitive psychology at the University of Rennes II.
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