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Most people haven’t decided to fall in love with their partner. But some chose it meticulously to boost their ego and gain influence. A trend that English speakers call “throning”. Explanations.
What do Kim Kardashian and Meghan Markle have in common? Apart from being fashion icons, they would both have gone into “throning”. This slang term refers to entering into a relationship with a person from a higher social class. This notion is close to hypergamy, even if it is not limited to material wealth.
Throning: small definition
Indeed, fans of “throning” want, above all, to gain notoriety. Money interests them less than “Likes” and “followers”. Kim Kardashian was already eminently famous when she began a relationship with Kanye West in April 2012. But her relationship with the American rapper gave her real fashion credibility. In an episode of his reality TV show, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, Kanye West sorts through his sweetheart’s wardrobe, with the help of one of his stylists. Exit fluorescent and bling-bling: Kim Kardashian’s new style is more sober and sharp. This stylistic transformation earned her an invitation to the prestigious gala of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and to appear on the cover of Vogue magazine in the company of her loved one.
Kim Kardashian admits: without Kanye West, none of this would have happened. “When I was with [lui]and he introduced me to a lot of people, I think that made a lot of people show me more respect“, she told the magazine Interview in 2022. Meghan Markle experienced a similar rise when she became a couple with Prince Harry. Her marriage to the youngest son of King Charles III allowed her to join the elite, she who grew up far from British high society.
Not so selfless, love
“Throning” doesn’t just concern celebrities. 30% of singles have already used their charm to climb the rungs of the social ladder, according to figures from the Plenty of Fish site cited by the magazine Fortune. Online flirting certainly has a lot to do with it. Dating applications, like Tinder or Bumble, allow their users to indicate their preferences precisely: physical appearance, of course, age, sexual orientation, but also level of education, profession, political side or even income. Some have even specialized, like Raya, the dating site dedicated to people from the creative industry. In other words, to the rich and famous singles.
There is nothing wrong with looking for a partner to form a “power couple” with. After all, marriages of convenience prevailed long before love became the priority in choosing one’s life partner. But things get complicated when the person doing the “throning” fakes a sincere interest in the other. “No one wants to be used solely for their money or influence. If you’re the type of person who wants to use others to gain popularity, be honest. People want to be liked and respected; if that’s the case, they will help lift you up, instead of dragging you down,” Ksenia Droben, managing director of British dating agency Droben Matchmaking, told Fortune.
Of course, this is easier said than done. No one wants to appear to be acting out of interest in the romantic sphere, even if that is actually the case. After all, in the collective imagination, love is pure, and, in essence, devoid of any calculation. But this is not the case, if we are to believe an American study published in 2018 in the journal Science Advances. Elizabeth Bruch and Mark Newman, two American researchers from the University of Michigan, explain that, on dating sites, we spontaneously turn to people who are statistically more attractive than us. Men and women try to seduce people who are between 23% and 26% more attractive than them. Suffice it to say that love is anything but blind.