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Marie Lanen
Head of parenting sections (baby, pregnancy, family), psychology and beauty
In just a few years, your adorable baby has become a teenager who is sometimes difficult to pin down. To communicate well (or better) with your teenager, here is an approach that allows you to stay connected with your grown child.
Wouldn’t the famous (and dreaded) teenage crisis be like the “Terrible Two”, a phase of change in our children that we adults see as something negative? Certainly, your child is growing up and between the hormonal upheaval he is going through, the first romantic emotions and the pressure to succeed at school; What could be more normal than sometimes being withdrawn and anxious? To avoid breaking off the dialogue with her teenager, Becky Kennedy, psychologist, provided some clever advice on her page Instagram.
Create a key moment in the relationship between a parent and their teenager
The American psychologist suggests that all parents try this approach. In a quiet moment, ask your teen this question: “What is one thing I could do that would help me improve as a parent?” If this may seem simplistic, the expert explains that each parent can draw a parallel with their work environment: imagine that your manager asked you this question, how would you feel? “Even before you think of an answer, you feel seen, important and you feel like your voice matters,” says Becky Kennedy. Ultimately, according to the expert, the teenager’s response will not necessarily be important. The idea here is rather to create an opportunity to discuss what they experience and wish for the best. Even if their response is based on an everyday detail like pocket money or screen time, the goal is to begin an authentic and caring exchange.
Remind your child that he is unique
The psychologist warns parents who might be tempted to answer that they too, when they were teenagers, wanted this or that thing. Remember that your child is unique and that, even if you yourself were a teenager, you do not necessarily understand what yours is going through in his or her life. Being an active listener and taking their needs into consideration can enlighten you on your child’s vision of life. The idea is therefore not to schematize the child (be careful of preconceived ideas), but rather to know him better in order to respond to his aspirations. Don’t hesitate to be curious without wanting to know everything about it, the secret garden remains an important space for each individual. If, despite your efforts, dialogue is difficult or even complicated with your teenager, it is better not to insist and to call on a professional who will be able to guide you for better communication with your child.
Slide: 10 things not to say to your teenager