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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
There is only one step between having self-confidence and becoming egocentric. Worse: those who constantly put themselves forward are in reality the most fragile, internally. How are the most secure people about themselves? Here is a description.
We all know someone around us who particularly likes to put themselves forward and praise their qualities. We might think that they are sure of themselves, filled with overflowing self-confidence and yet, according to the psychiatrist Christophe André, who has just published Value yourself and forget yourself at Odile Jacob editions, egocentrism would on the contrary weaken our self-esteem.
An epidemic of narcissism, with the rise of social networks
This new trend would be linked to the emergence of social networks. According to the specialist, while the early 2000s were more of a period when people were generally lacking in self-confidence, now we are experiencing another extreme. “You only have to look at the epidemic of narcissism that is rampant on Instagram or TikTok…” underlines the specialist, who nevertheless reminds that this is not the right solution for having self-confidence.
Do not depend on others, but be interested in them
We need others to have confidence in ourselves. The nuance, for Christophe André, lies in the link to the other. You need to have good self-esteem to be interested in others and this is what in turn nourishes the good image you have of yourself. Talking about yourself makes you feel insecure, because you then depend on the gaze of others. In the same way as when posting on a social network, we wait for the like or the comment, under the publication.
Good in his body, good in his head!
“Self-confidence comes from the right balance”
Asked about this question, psychologist Amélie Boukhobza confirms these remarks. “It is clear that someone who constantly needs to put themselves forward or be put forward lacks self-confidence. Because someone who is comfortable in their shoes – with a sufficiently solid base of internal security, does not need to do the same!.
According to her, it’s all about balance. “There self-confidence comes from a fair balance between awareness of one’s skills and abilities to be able to use them, and the recognition and esteem that comes to us from the connection to others.” she explains. “It is both authorizing oneself and being authorized by others. But also ensure that the way we look at ourselves is both independent and enriched by our social interactions.” she concludes.
Slide: 10 misconceptions about self-confidence