Contrary to what many people think, sun, leisure and time together are not particularly favorable for many relationships. In early autumn after the summer holidays, divorces increase significantly in Sweden. September and October are the months of the year when most couples separate, statistics from Statistics Norway show.
In an interview with News24 says the relationship expert Charlotte Sander what why so many divorce after the summer.
– The summer is an occasion when we are free and we hang out more, and if you have not taken care of and nurtured the relationship during the year, these flaws and difficulties in communication become very clear. Which means that perhaps by the autumn they have come to the conclusion that no, this is not going to work or we should seek help. And for some it is the nail in the coffin, she says.
Time together and time off is a big factor in why couples choose to divorce. After October and September, the most common months to divorce are February and March, after the Christmas holidays.
– Even after Christmas, I get a real boost and that’s when we meet and bump into each other and we meet relatives that we might not agree on, so we don’t stand united together as a couple. Then, as it were, the cracks become so clear.
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Seek help before it’s too late
So that you and your partner do not become a couple in the gloomy statistics, Charlotte Sander offers tips on how to save the marriage.
– Nurture the relationship much, much more and better all year round. That just like you go to work, just like you exercise, we need to take care of our relationships too. It sounds boring, but it is actually structure and routine that is needed.
Charlotte Sander says that it can be easier said than done and many people need help nurturing the relationship.
– Get help and see what this is about because it is possible that it can be solved when the anger has subsided. You get help from a neutral person who can provide some tools and kick start the process so that you can get closer to each other and communicate better.
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Photo: Vilhelm Stokstad/TT This is how you get over the divorce
If the divorce is finally inevitable despite help and various attempts, it is important to be patient with the grief work, according to Charlotte Sander.
– You can absolutely go out and date again, but I think you should be aware that you need some time to be in this thing that hurts a little. In order to eventually be able to look ahead and take new steps.
Getting over a divorce can take longer than many people think.
– I would like to say that grief after a divorce usually lasts several years, says the relationship expert.
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