Phubbing – dismissing or ignoring another person in order to instead focus on their mobile phone – is becoming increasingly common, and threatens jobs and relationships.
A sign of problematic mobile phone use can be difficulty concentrating.
– It is never really okay that we are more with the mobile phone than the person we meet, says Nina Jansdotter, behavioral scientist and job coach.
The word phubbing is a combination of the English “phone” and “snubbing”, which means precisely to ignore or be rude, and the phenomenon can occur in both relationships and work contexts, explains Nina Jansdotter, job coach and behavioral scientist.
– It is a human need to feel confirmed and accepted by the person we spend time with, and in order to see each other we need to put down our phones, says Jansdotter.
Nowadays, many people often have their whole lives in their phones – the mobile phone is used, among other things, to pay bills and keep track of calendars. And of course the phone can add something in a social context. For example, you might want to show a picture to a friend or search for information about a topic you are talking about. But then it must be precisely for the purpose of doing something together.
– Otherwise, the risk is that you miss that human meeting, which is so important, says Jansdotter.
Sometimes you may need to be available on the phone for one reason or another – perhaps you are waiting for an important work call or want to be there for a friend who is going through something tough. And sometimes you may simply need a break from being social. Then it is important to be clear about why you disappear into your phone. And practice doing what you need to do quickly and then put the phone away.
– It is never really okay that we are more with the mobile phone than the person we meet, says Jansdotter.
If you notice that you don’t get much else done or feel that you have concentration problems at work, it may be a sign that you have a problem and need to review your mobile usage.
– It can be about talking to each other about the fact that this is difficult, and helping each other. For example, if you are two people who know that you easily get stuck on your phones, you can say: “Now we take five minutes and run the iron and then we put the mobiles away and be present here and now,” says Jansdotter.
Other measures you can take if you notice that someone’s mobile use is getting out of hand is to ask if something happened and be empathetic.
– Most people who abuse something may not want to admit it or have some kind of denial about their behavior. Then it may be required that those around you are tough and talk about how they feel about you just fiddling with your mobile phone, says Jansdotter.