Faced with the crises, crying and obstinate refusals of a child, parents generally seek a solution as fast as it is effective. This is why, an expert wanted to share the sentence, promising to calm the situation in a few seconds.
The crises are part of the normal development of a child. They arise in particular when the latter feels frustrated, misunderstood or lack of autonomy. In addition, according to Isabelle Filliozat, psychologist specializing in positive parenting, it is important to note that “The child does not have the same capacities as adults to regulate his emotions”. Conflictual situations are then born from mutual misunderstanding: the child expresses a need while the parent imposes a rule and the confrontation settles.
Very often, the same scenario resurfaces: a refused garment, a vegetable left on the plate, a toy that we do not want to share. The adult, exasperated, increases the tone, and the situation is turned away. However, according to several experts, it is enough to adapt your language to transform a moment of tension in peaceful exchange. Indeed, studies in neuroscience revealed that the way in which an adult addressed a child directly influenced his emotional reaction. According to Daniel Siegel, psychiatrist and author of Your child’s brain (Éditions les Arenès), Words have a deep impact on the nervous system under construction of the youngest. In other words, “A gentle tone and positive formulations reduce stress and promote cooperation”he explains.
In this perspective, some sentences avoid confrontation. Rather than imposing strict authority, it is indeed preferable to adopt an empathetic posture and to recognize the difficulties encountered. A well -chosen formulation can then defuse a crisis in a few seconds. One of the most powerful? “If he could, he would do it”. This sentence radically comes to shake up the perception of the parent. She helps him understand that if her child blocks, it is not by Caprice, but because he encounters a difficulty, even if she seems minimal.
Thus, rather than requiring immediate behavior, this approach invites us to look for what prevents the child from acting and accompanying him to overcome the obstacle. By taking into account the limits of its development, the parent leaves the balance of power and built a more peaceful relationship. A simple, but formably effective method, validated by many education specialists.