Raphaël was the victim of school bullying for years without ever daring to speak about it. Since first grade, he suffered in silence until the day when, exhausted, he finally confided in his parents. His mother breaks the silence.
A few years ago, in 2015, Géraldine*, mother of Raphaël*, then 9 years old, spoke about the school bullying suffered in her film since elementary school. The ordeal really began at CP, “when the adults made him eat earthworms at recess. Then came the beatings, the humiliations and the insults. They threw his glasses, tore off his drawings and even locked him in a trash can!” Although it was initially about children older than him, the students in his class gradually got started, too.
Before discovering everything, Géraldine had noticed a change in her son’s behavior. “Raphaël was very anxious, melancholic, sometimes had nervous breakdowns and was worried, although he was always withdrawn.” However, he always loved school. His grades gradually dropped, he no longer wanted to work, and began to have digestive problems. “To be objective, I didn’t think for a single second about school bullying! We felt that something was wrong, without putting a name to it. But at no time could we have imagined that the place in which we entrusted our son seemed like hell to him. When we questioned him to know why he had changed, we were only allowed silence. she explains to us.
Raphaël’s parents discovered everything one evening, after yet another “interrogation”. “It was at the age of 9 that he confided in us, breaking down. He then released his story in a flood of tears. He was at the end of his tether, he had been coping for so many years! He told us that he wasn’t happy, that he didn’t understand why he was living, and that he wanted to die. We were devastated. says Geraldine. At the time, their son was being followed by a child psychiatrist with whom he had never discussed anything.
For the mother, if her son’s friends attacked him, it was because he was different from them. “He is a hyperactive, dyspraxic and gifted little boy. He is passionate about Greek mythology and science. He has never had friends with the same interests as him… So he is a boy “different” from others his age. The few children who still spoke to him turned on him simply because he had a “treatment”. (for his hyperactivity, editor’s note).“
After their son’s confessions, Géraldine and her husband went to school. Raphaël’s teacher knew nothing, nor even the director of the establishment. “We spared no one, the anger was beyond us. We did not understand how it was possible that the school staff had not seen anything when everything was happening before their eyes. At first we hoped that change school, but that was too complicated. Then, as we had denounced this school harassment towards the end of the year, and the harassers changed schools to move on to middle school, the problem was therefore, according to us. the director, determined to enter CM1”, adds the mother. Indeed, that year went relatively well, with no major problems with the other children… until the start of CM2.
The problem started again, this time, with three children in his class. “Once again, Raphaël hadn’t told us anything. Although we explained to him that our role as parents is to defend him and be present, he prefers to keep his problems to himself. I also think that he is “ashamed “of not knowing how to defend himself. He sees this last year of primary school as the end of his ordeal. Next year, he will not go to the same school as the other children.”
His parents actually enrolled him in a private establishment, so that he could “start your life from scratch”. Despite everything he has suffered all these years, Raphaël is not angry with his harassers, he wants to move forward and “doesn’t want to be mean to defend yourself”. And for the first time, the young boy made a friend, and that is undoubtedly the greatest reward!
*Comments collected in 2015. First names have been changed.