Published on
Updated
Reading 3 min.
Learning to value yourself, to appreciate yourself, is not obvious for everyone. However, there are signs that we are progressing on this path and that we are learning to love ourselves little by little. Here are the ones.
Loving and appreciating ourselves is essential for our well-being. While working on loving yourself more can take time, there are signs that you are progressing on the right path. Here are the ones.
Self-love, essential for good relationships with others
It is essential to learn to love yourself. It is a sine qua none condition for subsequently establishing healthy relationships with others. According to psychotherapist Sharon Martin, interviewed by Psychology Today, “self-love lays the foundation for asserting yourself, setting boundaries, maintaining healthy relationships, taking care of yourself, pursuing personal interests and goals and pride in one’s identity.”. Before adding: “There may be times when you feel upset, angry, or disappointed in yourself, and yet you can still love yourself — just like you can still love your child or partner despite being angry with them sometimes. “.
Signs that show we love each other
What are the signals to take into account to realize that we are starting to love ourselves? According to psychotherapist Alyssa Lia Mancao, who shares four important points on Instagram, here’s what you need to remember:
- You maintain the balance between learning to be alone and accepting that others come closer to you: this shows that you think of others and that you also remain kind to yourself;
- You forgive yourself for all the times you put others before respect and self-esteem: this helps cultivate a good self-image and allows you to forgive your mistakes and move forward;
- You unlearn everything that was socially constructed to make you believe that you were not good enough in terms of finances, social status or type of relationship: we grow up with many preconceived ideas about ourselves or our skills. Learning to love yourself means doing it as you are, without needing to point out your shortcomings or shortcomings;
- You recognize that you are more than your failures or your moments of doubt: doubting is a human feeling. But to love yourself, you have to learn to tell yourself that you are more than that.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Beware of these feelings that destroy self-love
So these are the signs that show that you are learning to love yourself and by maintaining this feeling, it can only develop. Conversely, distrust of negative feelings which destroy the love one can have for oneself.
According to Sharon Martin, there are five to be wary of:
- perfectionism, which pushes you to constantly do more, without ever being satisfied;
- permanent self-criticism, which never recognizes the efforts made;
- Guilt and self-sacrifice, which lead to not taking into account one’s needs and oneself;
- The fear of judgment, which paralyzes us in what we wish to do, deep within ourselves;
- Internalized negativity, which will lead to constant criticism, without ever feeling satisfied.
“Without self-love, we are prone to harsh self-criticism and can succumb to people-pleasing tendencies and perfectionism.” believes Sharon Martin. “We may tolerate mistreatment from others, ignore our own needs and feelings due to a lack of self-esteem, and make choices that go against our best interests” she concludes.
Slide: The consequences of lack of self-esteem on relationships with others