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When a baby arrives in a family, the happiness (and thoughts) increase tenfold! Here are the 7 phrases you should no longer say to young dads.
In recent years, the role of fathers has evolved significantly. And that’s good ! Fathers play, cook, bathe, help with homework, take children to activities and take care of them every day. However, certain stereotypes still die hard… and are accompanied by annoying reflections. Han-Son Lee, founder of a media for dads, Daddilifeand producer of Dadda Panda, reveals, to the HuffPost British, the 7 sentences that should no longer be said to fathers.
These cliché phrases to ban
If society is progressing towards increasingly egalitarian parenting, stubborn stereotypes persist about the roles of fathers and mothers. Clichés which can be frustrating for fathers who are actively involved in family life… and which can also contribute to locking the mother into an obsolete role.
For all these reasons, certain phrases deserve to be banned, such as the following expressions:
“Your wife makes you babysit, right?”
“No, we’re not babysitting. That’s called parenting. Some people say that just to start a conversation, and I understand that, but the idea of someone seeing a father with an infant and assuming automatically that he is not actually involved in daily care is increasingly at odds with the role fathers play in modern society.”recalls in this regard, Han-Son Lee, founder of a media for dads, Daddilifeand producer of Dadda Pandawhich highlights the active role of fathers.
“How long is your vacation?”https://www.doctissimo.fr/”When are you going back to work?”
Is it really necessary to remind you of this? Maternity or paternity leave is anything but a vacation. In fact, this type of insinuation, ““Just adds a strange pressure of returning to work, which can add unnecessary stress and detract from the importance of bonding time with baby.”warns the expert.
“Be a man”
Say “Be a man” Or “Behave like a man”, is totally inappropriate, indicates the producer. Since when could virility be associated with giving a bottle?
“Are you sure you’re doing this correctly?”https://www.doctissimo.fr/”Is this the first time you’ve changed a diaper?”
According to Han-Son Lee, as soon as a dad is seen in difficulty, he hears: “Are you sure you’re doing this correctly?”. A reflection that can only be misinterpreted. Better to encourage the dad and help him if necessary.
“You should let mom take care of that.”
Yet another cliché that deserves to be deconstructed. “Apart from breastfeeding, fathers are able to do the same on a daily basis from day one.” recalls Han-Son Lee. Besides, isn’t the mother also “debutante“in the learning surrounding the birth of a child?
“Shouldn’t you help more?”
This question is personal. “It’s important to remember that every family dynamic is different, and fathers contribute to parenting in different ways”underlines the expert, rather inviting everyone to help the dad and/or support him.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it eventually.”
Finally, Han-Son Lee explains that this sentence can be misunderstood. The young father deserves more support and encouragement if, for example, his baby only cries and/or demands more from his mother.