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When we argue, we may say hurtful phrases or behave disdainfully towards our partner. According to an American psychologist, the phrase “I wish we had never met” is one of those that can lead to a breakup.
As a couple, arguments are commonplace and can sometimes undermine communication. In anger, it is tempting to hurt others with words that go beyond our thoughts. Dr Cortney Warren, an American psychologist specializing in couple relationships, has studied relationship dynamics for twenty years. According to her, the feeling of contempt is what can lead to a breakup in the majority of cases.
Beware of these sentences that can break up a couple
She states in an article she wrote for CNBC : “A phrase that reflects contempt, and which I have seen destroy relationships most often is: ‘I wish we had never met’ or ‘I wish we had never met’“. Other statements such as “You ruined my life“, “You are a nuisance“, “you are pathetic“, “You don’t deserve my time” Or “If we didn’t have children, I would have left you already” can also have devastating consequences on couple dynamics.
Contempt can also manifest through nonverbal behaviors, such as rolling your eyes or using dismissive body language, creating a power imbalance.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Our advice for arguing without hurting others
So, how do you communicate in an argument without hurting the other person? Several solutions exist. First, take the time to think before you speak and weigh your words carefully. It is essential to recognize your mistakes and apologize when necessary. “Take responsibility. It’s about recognizing your choices, your habits and your participation in dysfunctions“, explains the specialist.
And above all, remember that you and your partner are a team. Communication must be constructive on both sides to maintain harmony. Before making a reproach, remember the reasons why you are with your partner and express your remarks in a caring manner.
The psychologist concludes by emphasizing the importance of learning from each conflict in the relationship: “The most important advice I give people is to try to find gratitude. There is always something to learn from discord in our relationships. Look for something positive to come out of every interaction, even if the process is destabilizing“.
Slide: The keys to a healthy argument