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The past Valentine’s Day should not make us forget that a couple is cultivated over the long term, and that certain everyday manias can quickly turn into killers of love. This is the finding of a survey which reveals – or confirms – that routine is the number one enemy of couples, just like… the mental load linked to household chores ¨ers, especially in the eyes of women.
What could cause the flame of your relationship to flicker? A very intimate question whose answer can only vary from one person to another, although certain “bad habits” seem to be unanimously – or almost unanimously – among the French population. This is what emerges from a survey carried out by the Ipsos institute for Durex, among 3,000 French people. This lifts the veil on certain love-killers likely to put couples to the test in the long term.
Ending inequalities
If celibacy, through the advent of dating applications, has been the subject of much discussion for several years, the survey indicates that nearly three-quarters of French people – those surveyed at least – say they are in a stable and lasting romantic relationship. . However, it remains to be determined what ‘being in a relationship’ means for those mainly concerned. According to all respondents, it is above all a question of looking in the same direction, in other words of having projects together (78%), before being in love (71%), of living together (68%), to be faithful (64%), to know how to compromise (49%) and to have regular sex (43%). If we look at the youngest generations, those aged 18-34, it appears that being in love takes precedence over everything else (77%), ahead of making plans (71%), to be faithful (67%), and to live together (62%). Note that having sexual relations comes far behind, favored by barely more than a third of the panel (38%).
When asked about habits that could harm their relationship, the French seem at first glance rather categorical: routine is clearly perceived as a killer of love, at 56%. If men (58%) and women (55%) agree on this subject, routine is far from being the only point of tension in a couple, but the other love killers mentioned do not achieve consensus among two sexes. The mental load associated with the absence of sharing household chores or managing children’s activities ranks second on the podium (46%), but is considered more of a love killer by women (55 %) than by men (36%).
Another interesting fact is that sexuality can also be considered a love killer depending on how it is viewed. The survey reveals that reducing libido or desire and imposing a frequency of sexual intercourse in the couple is a love killer for 39% of respondents, in both cases. But here again, the perception is not the same depending on whether the respondent is a man or a woman. More than four in ten men (42%) see the lack of desire as a potential problem, compared to 36% of their female counterparts, while only a third of men (34%) have the same vision for so-called sexual relations. scheduled”, compared to 43% of women. However, they agree more on the fact that the phone in bed at night constitutes an obstacle to a relationship.
The pressure of being in a relationship
Nearly three in ten French people (29%) say they have already felt pressure to form a relationship, whether from society or from their own entourage. Women are slightly more concerned (31%) than their male counterparts (27%), but the strongest distinctions observed concern the different generations. While only 14% of 55-75 year olds say they have already felt this pressure, there are 32% of 35-54 year olds and up to 43% of 18-34 year olds. A detail which is important, two thirds of those surveyed claiming to have been pressured to form a relationship believe that this was primarily due to the family. Followed by friends (46%), society and the media (32%), colleagues (30%), then social networks (22%). Note, however, that 18-34 year olds feel this pressure from social networks more, at 33%.
*This survey was carried out by Ipsos.Digital for Durex, from January 16 to 18, 2024, among a sample of 3,000 people, representative of the French population aged 18 to 75, constituted according to the quota method, at with regard to the criteria of sex, age, socio-professional category and region of residence. Survey carried out on the occasion of the launch of his talk show “Your Sex Your Way” on YouTube.
Slide: Mental load illustrated