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Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Have you ever suspected a friend or loved one of being jealous of you? Whatever the reason for this jealousy, it can only damage the relationship you have with this person. To find out if this is really the case, here are five behaviors that show jealousy towards you. Explanations from Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
Jealousy can creep into a relationship and it’s never a good sign. To know whether or not someone around you is jealous of you, there are certain behaviors that can show you this. As long as you analyze them carefully, according to Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
Observe your relationship with others
We don’t always take the time to do this and it can be difficult when we are directly involved in the relationship, but observing the relationship with others of the person who seems jealous of you can be a good way to know if this is right.
According to psychologist Amélie Boukhobza, “a negative worldview and low self-esteem can actually lead to jealousy. At least to the feeling of envy. But this sign can also reflect a deeper discomfort in the person, linked to their own insecurities, without obvious link to others. she nuances.
Notice a lack of enthusiasm
You tell your friend good news and they barely show their joy for you? We might think that jealousy is rearing its ugly head. But according to our expert, this can be the case, but be careful not to get carried away. “You have to be careful here. Lack of enthusiasm for other people’s successes can indicate jealousy, but can also be a sign of other issues, like depression or just having a bad day. It is important not to jump to conclusions without taking into account an exact context.”.
A tendency toward criticism and negativity
This is a fairly common sign in cases of jealousy. “Constant criticism can be a pretty classic defense mechanism for dealing with feelings of inferiority. However, it is important to differentiate constructive criticism from a pathological tendency to demean others.” notes the specialist.
Put yourself down to put yourself forward
Again, this behavior may be an indicator of jealousy. “This can be the case, but it can also show a narcissistic problem or exacerbated competitiveness” estimates the expert.
Permanent avoidance
“Avoidance can be a sign of jealousy, but it can also indicate other relationship or personal problems.” analyzes the psychologist. For her, all these signs can be “indicators of jealousy, but be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly. If there is a combination of several of these signs, this will already be a stronger indicator”.
What other signs might alert you?
According to the specialist, other indicators allow us to pinpoint jealousy on the part of a loved one or friend.
- Disproportionate, excessive reactions to minor events, especially if it involves the success or happiness of others: irritability, aggressiveness or marked disinterest;
- Excessive surveillance or controlling what the other person does, going so far as to ask intrusive questions or spy on their activities. On social networks for example;
- A constant comparison to others, often in a negative way or by devaluing oneself;
- Seeking to arouse jealousy in another by talking about one’s own successes, relationships, or experiences, in order to attract attention or provoke a reaction;
- Imitation of the one we are jealous of, from adopting certain clothing styles to copying life or career choices.
“Again, these signs taken in isolation are not necessarily an indicator of jealousy. They must be interpreted in the context” recalls the psychologist.
The most important thing, according to Amélie Boukhobza, is to define clear limits. “We do not let others encroach on our personal space, without our agreement, without letting them affect our well-being either.” she says. “We also avoid fueling the jealousy of others, by avoiding, for example, sharing details of our lives that could fuel this jealousy. Especially if these shares are not necessary within the framework of this relationship”.
To limit this person’s jealousy, we can also promote their successes and qualities. “This could perhaps alleviate his feelings of inferiority and competition a little.” indicates the expert. “Finally, I advise remaining empathetic, without necessarily understanding the reasons behind the person’s jealousy, but telling yourself that sometimes jealousy hides deeper insecurities or painful experiences from the past. But if the relationship with the jealous person affects you too much, you may need to consider reconsidering it differently by seeing them less, for example, or even more at all.” she concludes.
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