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Siyana Mincheva (Psychologist, psychotherapist)
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we adopt attitudes that harm our esteem and reduce our self-confidence. What are these bad habits? Let’s take stock with Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
Self-confidence is something that is built since childhood. “Lack of self-confidence often comes from childhood, when we were confronted with a toxic environment, which prevents us from moving forward. explains Siyana Mincheva.
Psychological barriers then arise and are found in certain attitudes in adulthood. Here are four that it is important to deconstruct and break away from.
Surround yourself with negative people
Whether on a personal or professional level, surrounding yourself with the right people is essential. “In the professional environment, for example, it is important to know who to work with and it is essential to surround yourself with people you trust.” explains the psychologist. Likewise, close friends should be people you can count on.
Always strive for perfection
Being perfect is something impossible. While it is easy to agree on this principle, in practice it can be much more difficult to implement. “It’s a bad habit” confirms the psychologist. “We put too much pressure on ourselves, we are so focused on performance, without realizing that this can be a source of frustration, anxiety, tension… And above all we It’s going to be hard to say stop.”.
Comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others can be a bad habit that fuels unhappiness. “Comparing to others creates doubts, personal dissatisfaction and concerns” explains the expert. “This can come from parental education and comparison among siblings. Once again, a toxic environment during childhood prevents the creation of good self-confidence as an adult.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Criticize yourself
Some people don’t wait for negative reviews from others, they do the work themselves. “When we have a lack of self-confidence, there are doubts that set in and instead of strengthening ourselves, saying that it is difficult but not impossible, we further weaken our self-confidence and we self-sabotage. ” specifies the expert.
Sometimes, there is also an imposter syndrome in this person, who will be convinced that their successes, obtained at work or elsewhere, are the result of a succession of chances. “This person will think that they do not deserve to have what they have achieved in their life. It inferiorizes itself even if the results are there” notes Siyana Mincheva. “She will denigrate herself, criticize herself, and think that everything she does is never right. We need to ask ourselves the right questions to get out of this pattern of self-criticism and self-sabotage.” she concludes.