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It goes without saying that the family organization impacts its members. But how can we differentiate a family whose mode of functioning is healthy from those which are dysfunctional? Here are eight habits to distinguish the two.
Are you wondering if you live in a family where the atmosphere is rather healthy or if, on the contrary, it seems dysfunctional? To differentiate the two situations, there are eight habits to know. Here are them.
Healthy communication
Do you have the ability to express yourself without judgment to those close to you? On the contrary, did the last discussion within your family turn into a fight? This is the first sign that distinguishes a healthy family from a dysfunctional one.
In a healthy family, each member can express themselves, they will be heard, listened to and understood, without fear of appearing ridiculous or having their opinion or comments rejected. This does not mean that there are never conflicts in a healthy family, but that they will be resolved through open dialogue and mutual respect.
On the contrary, in a dysfunctional family, communication is often hostile or non-existent. But it is possible to change things over time, by establishing new, healthier communication habits.
Flexible roles
In a family, very often, everyone has a well-defined role. And while one might believe that it works better that way, it is not. In a healthy family, everyone’s roles are interchangeable. Responsibilities change depending on the circumstances of individual needs and skills.
For example, if one parent is sick, the second will take over. It is also a good way to cultivate resilience and adaptability to all situations. On the contrary, remaining rigid on the tasks assigned to each person encourages resentment and can be the source of conflicts.
Nurturing Individuality
In a healthy family, we recognize each person’s differences, which makes each member individual. For example, we allow children to have their own personality, their strengths and weaknesses, but also their dreams and desires. Each member is appreciated for their person and not just their role within the family unit.
This helps promote self-esteem. In contrast, in dysfunctional families, pressure is put on members to conform to norms or expectations. We suppress everyone’s individuality, in a way.
Accepting mistakes
Everybody makes mistakes. This is a reality and families are no exception. What sets healthy families apart, however, is how they handle these missteps.
In a healthy family environment, mistakes are treated as learning opportunities, they are not criticized or punished. Instead, understanding is the priority, along with forgiveness and a discussion of the lesson learned.
In a healthy family, each member feels safe to try new things and take risks, knowing that they will be supported even if they fail. In dysfunctional families, mistakes may be judged negatively or labeled as shameful. This creates a fear of failure and discourages members from stepping outside their comfort zones.
Spend quality time together
Healthy families are used to spending quality time together. This doesn’t necessarily mean going on extravagant vacations or expensive activities.
It could be as simple as mealtimes, going for a walk together, or at bedtime, during a bedtime story. These shared experiences foster a sense of belonging and create lasting memories.
Conversely, in dysfunctional families, members may live under the same roof but lead separate lives. There is little interaction and exchange beyond the bare minimum. Which encourages feelings such as loneliness or isolation.
Express your attachment
We often take our families for granted, assuming they know we love and appreciate them without expressing it explicitly. Yet showing gratitude is a healthy habit that helps strengthen family bonds.
In healthy families, members thank each other regularly. This small gesture allows you to be valued and feel loved. In dysfunctional families, the focus tends to be on the failures.
Setting limits
Boundaries are absolutely necessary in a healthy family. They help define what behavior is acceptable and what is not. In healthy families, these boundaries are clear, understood and respected by all members. It is not about being strict or controlling, but rather about teaching responsibility, respect and consideration for others.
In contrast, dysfunctional families often have blurred or nonexistent boundaries. This can lead to invasions of privacy, disrespect, and unhealthy dependencies.
Prioritize love and respect
At the heart of every family must be a foundation of love and respect. And this must not only be reflected in words but also in actions. This is reflected in the way each member communicates. Love and respect means recognizing the value of others, listening without judgment, and apologizing when we do wrong.
On the other hand, dysfunctional families don’t work that way. Respect is demanded rather than earned and there may be expressions of love but actions do not follow. However, these are essential bases for a family, so that it remains united and united whatever happens.
Slideshow: 10 tips for cultivating family happiness