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Reading 3 min.
in collaboration with
Johanna Rozenblum (clinical psychologist)
Do you know how to detect if someone is telling you lies? The daily newspaper The Telegraph interviewed several experts on this subject and several signs could put you on the path. You are now armed to investigate.
In life or at work, smooth talkers are common. They embellish or completely invent a daily life to get out of uncomfortable situations. But in emotional life, being confronted with other people’s lies can be more annoying and harmful. Unless you know how to spot the signs that are not misleading (them). Here are 6 signs to spot liars according to The Telegraph newspaper.
The 6 signs to spot in a liar
- The liar gets bogged down in details. To be credible, liars often provide many details in their anecdotes. However, this is also how they betray themselves. When they repeat their stories, we can notice inconsistencies. Normally, liars have to fabricate new facts over time.
- The liar has exaggerated body language. Behaving too theatrically can also put you on the path to lying. Whether it’s joy, forced laughter or being exaggeratedly offended, these are attempts to mask the lie and influence the opinion of others (yours in this case). “These are signs that someone is trying to consciously make you believe that they are really reacting the way they appear.” specifies Stéphanie Davies, behavioral psychologist.
- The liar (sometimes) shows signs of stress. Some liars, unaccustomed to it, are detected by the presence of signs of stress. What are these signs? A higher pitched voice, drinking a lot to moisturize a dry mouth, or even unusual restlessness can indicate the liar’s nervousness.
- The liar suddenly changes his behavior. The sudden change in behavior may also indicate that the person is hiding something from you. This is particularly the case if the person suddenly becomes distant.
- The liar makes (too) good promises. In order to wrap his lie or his insincerity in a beautiful package, the liar knows how to lure (and lull) his victim with beautiful promises. “If someone offers you something that seems too good to be true, you should be very careful,” says Jody Freshwater, CEO of an investigative agency.
- The liar often has these little gestures. Scratching your nose or playing with your hair in a stressful situation can reveal an attempt to reassure yourself while lying. This is called self-soothing, experts say. Of course, a person scratching their arm does not prove a lie, but if the gesture comes up in a stressful situation, or certain conversations, be wary!
Good in his body, good in his head!
For Johanna Rozenblum, psychologist and member of our committee of experts, lying is mainly identified by the details provided by the person.
“We recognize a person who is lying or a mythomaniac profile when the speech is too detailed, and when there are contradictions as the story is repeated. Our memory is not made to retain everything in detail, only important things will be recorded in the long-term memory. The little everyday things, which make up short-term memory, fall by the wayside. So, a person who multiplies details, such as colors, schedule, weather, facts… Must attract our attention. And very often, when we question the person, they present inconsistencies.”
But what should we do if we discover the deception? For our expert, it depends on the context. If it’s someone outside of their close circle, it may not be worth giving it importance. But in a private, emotional context, coming from a friend or within a couple, it is preferable to react.
“It is necessary to confront the person with their contradictions and to speak to them in complete honesty: ‘I have the impression that what you are telling me, the inconsistencies, the tone taken, and the ease in getting your message across is false. I have difficulty adhering to your message. And do not hesitate to ask him to justify himself so as not to remain in the lie“.
“The important thing is to understand the purpose of lying. Is it a person who fabricates because they like to add more? Or because they want to crudely convey things that are not acceptable or reprehensible?” In this case, it is better not to let go of your liar to find out the truth. As good a talker as he is.
Slide: You and your little sex lies