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Updated
Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Do you try to strengthen your relationship day after day but your actions sometimes have the opposite effect? Here are the 6 behaviors that can harm you.
If love allows you to overcome many trials, it cannot solve everything. Life at 100 miles per hour, the arrival of a child or even the lack of questioning of the other can precipitate a couple towards their downfall. Certain behaviors cause more harm than good. An update on these often unconscious actions that harm you on a daily basis.
Attitudes to avoid
“Love is essential to the relationship, but love is love. That is to say a balance, and not everything and anything! Certain attitudes, which sometimes become habits, can unconsciously (or consciously) cause harm“, recalls Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
1. Constantly giving in to your partner
“Always giving in to your partner, is that really love? Even if it may seem like a proof of love, this behavior can only end up generating imbalance in the relationship by preventing healthy reciprocity. confirms Amélie Boukhobza.
2. Take full responsibility for life’s difficulties
“Idem, taking full responsibility for the difficulties of living together creates an unfair dynamic where only one bears the burden. relationship it’s always at least 50/50, including what we allow to happen!“, recalls the expert.
3. Serve others
“Adopting a servant role (even if initially a little charming), can quickly become exhausting and unrecognized. “It’s still creating an imbalance.” warns the specialist.
4. Giving advice all the time… without it being asked for
“Giving unsolicited advice can sometimes hurt and, above all, lower the other person’s self-esteem. The moralizing and lesson-giving side is fine for a while! Avoiding confrontations to prevent arguments resolves nothing and can, on the contrary, end up accumulating resentment. It is often better to have a good old argument (short and without insults) to say things to each other and get rid of what is bothering us, rather than to keep silent for avoid conflicts and end up exploding from too much“, assures Amélie Boukhobza.
5. Avoid confrontation
“Always agreeing to avoid conflicts is not proof of love, nor a solution! This is another situation where not expressing yourself can have consequences: ending up exploding, leading to significant reproaches, having no space, losing self-confidence and no longer feeling part of the couple.“, warns the expert.
6. Depend (too much) on others
“Finally, depending entirely on your partner by asserting that without him life no longer has any meaning puts crushing pressure on the other and makes the relationship stifling. Any loving relationship inevitably involves a little dependence on the other, but depending only on the other takes away from the couple entity. If one disappears for the benefit of the other (by dependence), love no longer exists! Recognizing these behaviors and correcting them can only improve the relationship and help regain an essential balance!“, concludes the specialist.