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You may not realize right away that your partner is toxic. But there are some behavioral changes that can put you on the right track, according to a relationship coach.
Toxic men are not marked with a white cross. On the contrary, in most cases, they behave quite normally, even charmingly (otherwise you wouldn’t be attracted to them) and it can take time for you to understand the danger. So, when things change, and your partner’s behavior raises questions, it is often difficult to know what is going on. Is it an unknown side of your lover? A reaction due to stress? Or the sign of a truly toxic person?
To see things more clearly (and save time), a love coach reveals in the media YourTangofive behaviors that indicate that he is indeed trying to trap you in his nets.
The toxic man does not like it when he is not in control of things and feelings. He may therefore pout, retreat or even ignore you if you do not do things his way. When he returns, he is able to distort what you said (to his advantage) and focus on isolated sentences in your discussion, taken out of context and transformed.
He covers you with kindness, then blows cold
The toxic man may exhibit sudden mood changes for no apparent reason and without warning. This type of behavior can be subtle, it can be a calmness that is not typical of him, or a sudden and unexplained withdrawal.
He approaches various subjects with dramatic intensity.
In front of you, the toxic man likes to overdo it a little. So when he talks about his job, his success, his money, he launches into drama. He can also establish intense and uncomfortably direct eye contact during a conversation.
He is friendly in front of others, then feigns indifference in private.
Manipulators are usually very good at coming across as perfect gentlemen to their friends, family, or coworkers. But when you’re alone, their behavior changes dramatically…sometimes for the worse.
It enlightens you on your own feelings
Toxic people engage in what is called gaslighting. This means they will make you feel like you misunderstood something, that the conversation you had didn’t happen, or that you’re not living what you know to be true. They may claim that a promise wasn’t made and that they know better than you. This is common, and it’s designed to keep you on your toes, doubting yourself and your judgment, and going in circles as you wonder if you’re the one who made it up or if they made it up.
Feeling good in your body, feeling good in your head!
An oppression to be fled urgently
A woman in a toxic relationship often finds herself waiting for the situation to return to “normal” and for the man opposite her to become the man she met at the beginning. This is the whole tactic of the toxic man, according to the coach. He plays a game and gradually pushes the partner to question herself, wondering if she had misjudged the person when she met him or if he could have changed. But enough daydreaming: in a toxic relationship, it is indeed the malicious man who is there when his “friendly” copy was only an illusion.
To pull yourself together, the coach suggests a technique: monitor your partner’s reactions and changes in attitude. If the improvements don’t last (and are only there to confuse the issue) and this man is not the appreciable version you met, try to see things clearly. Only by freeing yourself can you hope to find a peaceful and healthy relationship with someone who deserves you and makes you happy.
Slide: 6 Types of Phrases Used by Toxic People