Should you let your children win at the games? An expert decided by fixing an age limit.
Fun, imaginative or sports games are essential for the development of children. They teach them respect for the rules, listening, reflection, patience and sometimes team spirit. This also makes it possible to keep them away from screens. If they love playing, they are not always good losers when the competition comes into play. Some can melt into tears after a failure, a heartbreak for parents who see their little smile to tears. It is then tempting to let them win to avoid any crisis, anger or sadness.
But is this really the right solution? Defeat is made up of many learning. Losing leads to surpass yourself, to persevere the next times and to learn from your mistakes. This also instilments resilience and humility. Shebna Osanmoh, practitioner in psychiatry, explains that “when the child loses, parents can show a good sporting spirit and transform defeats into learning opportunities by speaking of what worked and what did not not worked “. She does not always advise to make him lose it.
The specialist recommends, in fact, to adopt a different approach depending on age. “The first positive experiences with games and competition are important for children aged 3 to 5. At this point, frequent victories help to strengthen their confidence and maintain their interest in playing,” she said to of Parents. Before three years, babies’ games are not based on competition.
Then, for 6-9 year olds, she rather advocates a balance between victory and defeat. To achieve this, she suggests making competition more equitable, giving children an advantage from the start or by hide so that you don’t have to lose. The game remains stimulating and this avoids all forms of cheating or pretense. We must explain to the child why these adapted rules are put in place.
The choice of game can also help parents: those with a good part of chance can easily place everyone on an equal footing, such as battle for example. It is also possible to favor collaborative games, avoiding any unique loser and perfecting teamwork and creativity. The behavior of parents during the game is essential: it is important not to put too much pressure and to give priority to the pleasure of the shared moment. We must not forget to encourage the child for his efforts, especially when he encounters difficulties in the game, and obviously you absolutely should not be bad loser.