Sometimes gifted children, especially when they are not identified as such, experience the vague feeling, which they cannot precisely define, of never being exactly as one would expect.
lingering feelings
If they see their comrades playing without a second thought, laughing or getting angry, completely caught up in the moment they are living, only to then very quickly forget the emotions that had sometimes upset them: in the gifted child the bitterness of a disappointment leaves its mark for a long time, he does not forget the emotions felt with force, he does not understand the lightness of others. These subtle differences become more and more numerous as the gifted child grows and his centers of interest multiply. He realizes that the fields that attract him, sometimes passionately, leave the other children indifferent or even that they seem totally foreign to their current universe. It is then he himself who feels like a stranger in this world which is his, without possible modification.. The idea comes to his mind that he will be, perhaps throughout his life, doomed to profound loneliness as soon as he lets himself go: he is overwhelmed by this, thinking that he is quite alone.
It is then he himself who feels like a stranger in this world which is his
Too much effort?
“Make an effort” they say to him when we want to help him… Attentive people full of goodwill, seeing his sadness and his loneliness, advise him to “make an effort”, which would mean forgetting all the subjects that bother him. attract, to stop asking questions and above all to force themselves to play games that they do not like at all, because they are too violent or far too childish, with the company of children who do not use the same language and do not have the same understanding of events. In his case “making an effort” does not consist in seeking the solution of a more complex problem of mathematics or in assimilating a more subtle rule of grammar, but, on the contrary, in forgetting the joys of the mind, in watching his language, and mindlessly playing games he would never choose.
It is conceivable that he may feel overwhelmed by a perverse fate which has made him a different child and the only remedy offered to him is to “make an effort” for him who, precisely, is very happy when he has the opportunity to make a real effort to do a difficult job and succeed! He seems to be the only one for whom the notion of “effort” would have this particular meaning and nothing indicates that this situation could change one day. He would then be condemned for life to force himself for everything that should constitute approval. Certainly, he knows good times, with his parents he saw wonders, he was happy in the company of adults or older children who did not speak of effort but of new data, often fascinating: these are brief parentheses and he can clearly see that his parents are helpless, they have even asked him, certainly inadvertently and quoting the teachers, if he could not “make an effort” to enjoy himself more in class .
Overreactions, like him
He reacts according to his temperament: sadness or anger
This child who does not find his place, but who, apparently, is the only one who has to look for it, reacts according to his temperament : either he resigns himself in silence and withdraws into himself, as if to protect himself, or he seems to lose interest in everything and fall asleep, or he is consumed by a latent, constant, underground anger, which is externalized by fits, like a sleeping volcano, but not extinct, with sudden awakenings that surprise those around you. Indeed, nothing justifies this brutal explosion or an event so derisory that it causes unanswered perplexity. The suddenly explosive child would have seen it as a sign that nothing was ever going to change in his life and that he would have to put up with these incessant frustrations and this avalanche of misunderstandings, alone among the others. Suddenly, this gloomy prospect seemed intolerable to him. He exploded in desperate anger because he realized his utter helplessness: he could never change this situation. He wonders how his parents, who seem to understand him so well, have managed to accommodate this discrepancy. They even have friends, they like each other and are happy to see each other. Grown-ups have therefore found a way to live a happy existence while he sees no happier way out of the sinister path he is forced to follow.
Parents as close as they are helpless
We told him fables to make him be patient: it will be better later, in Primary, middle school, high school, his parents even seemed to be convinced of it, to believe that they had forgotten everything about it. their childhood, or that they hadn’t known this malaise, and yet they understand it and don’t often bore it with this stupid story of efforts. Maybe they were just lucky, sometimes they talk about good times spent at school, or a teacher they keep fond memories of, and above all, they found each other, now they are no longer alone. They tell him that he too, one day, he will meet someone who will understand him, then they will both feel like they have always known each other and nothing will be the same, but he wonders where they come from. this certainty, they are not soothsayers, they are even incapable of changing his life. Some also see their parents fighting, each on their own, or even against each other, and they begin to wonder how to find peace and some satisfaction in this world where it is already difficult to find one’s place.
Beware of the company substitute for video games
Insightful and lucid, they find it difficult to envisage existence in an attractive light: the most effective remedy would be the awakening of a passion, preferably finally shared by similar people.. Life would then take on another tone. It would be like a window finally opening on a horizon full of promise, on a path to be explored in the company of loved ones, at least in spirit, and the Internet works miracles when it is used wisely. You should also be careful: the trap of video games is particularly dangerous for these children who feel isolated : it is not necessary to have to fight also on this front in front of a child who knows how to argue with all his intellectual dexterity. It is best to prevent this addiction that is so sneakily attractive.