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Figuring out whether the person you’re dating is the one to marry or the one to relegate to the past can take just a few months (and a few crises), according to a study. And it’s faster than you might think.
Is that person you met recently the one? If you’ve been dating for a few weeks, you should soon find out, according to a study on the subject. The University of Chicago conducted a survey on couples who were together and when they wanted to get married.
172 days and less than 5 disputes to decide
The team surveyed 2,000 single and partnered people and took an in-depth look at the time it takes to make a decision. For the single people surveyed, a time frame of 210 days, or 7 months, to decide on their potential suitors seemed reasonable. But the reality was ultimately… faster for established, married couples.
Among the couples observed (and questioned about the course of their relationship), it took an average of just 172 days to know they wanted to get married. That’s just under six months, less time, according to the scientists, than most people think they need before making this important decision.
Participants who broke up also told researchers that it took them five bad interactions or conflicts before they realized they didn’t like someone. But the data suggests that three bad impressions are enough to make up their minds.
An intuition rather than a “considered” decision
So, knowing whether you want to take the big step would happen much faster than you might think in theory.
“Romantic partners may mistakenly think that the decision to marry is a long and thoughtful one”Nadav Klein, a doctoral student at the University of Chicago and co-author of the study, told the New York Post.Our results suggest that people misjudge how quickly they make decisions.”
A fact confirmed by Joe Taravella, psychologist and therapist in this same article.
“After the honeymoon period of dating, which lasts about three months, people tend to let their guard down and you start to get a real glimpse of the real person and how they deal with the good and the bad and everything in between.”
The decision to stay or not in a new relationship would then be more a matter of instinct than reflection.If you see things in your partner that do not match your needs or that do not meet your needs within this time frame, it is best to continue your search for true happiness.”
Slideshow: Couple: a lasting romantic relationship in 6 steps