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An original test called “the soup test” is all the rage on social networks. It might just reveal whether your relationship has a future. But what exactly does it consist of?
In a couple, after the first moments of discovery, sometimes comes a phase of doubt: you are good together, but without knowing if you really want to go further. Does the person opposite share your aspirations for the future? That’s where this viral concept, nicknamed the soup test, comes in.
A bowl of soup to brighten your romantic future
The principle is simple: preparing or bringing a meal, like soup, would allow you to quickly measure the potential of your relationship. The idea, practical and intriguing, seems attractive for its ability to “speed things up”. However, Nicole Saunders, a therapist interviewed by the HuffPostreminds that this test, as original as it may be, does not replace open and honest communication.
“A relationship status is already a vague situation. Trying to change this dynamic with a fuzzy gimmick like the ‘soup test’ may provoke a reaction, but is it really clear? If you’re not authentic and don’t communicate directly, how can you really know what the other person is reacting to?” she explains.
In other words, whether the reaction is positive or negative, it is difficult to draw reliable conclusions. Saunders adds: “They may simply appreciate what they see as a gesture of kindness, even if it is a disguised attempt to test the relationship. Or, on the contrary, find the gesture strange or inappropriate. It’s a risky gamble that can add confusion or awkwardness to an already fragile relationship.“
According to her, sincere communication remains “essential for building strong relationships“. That said, with winter coming, there’s nothing stopping you from making a soup and seeing if it warms the mood.
The origin of the test: a revealing chicken soup
The concept was launched a few days ago by two American sisters on Threads. They tell of a real experience: five years ago, one of them prepared chicken noodle soup for her new companion, who was sick. But the story took an unexpected turn.
“They broke up that night“, reports his sister on the social network. “He told her she was ‘too invested’ and he wanted to keep his options open for flirting at the bar.“
Since then, the two sisters have observed that this type of simple but thoughtful gesture can often reveal the other’s state of mind. Two reactions are possible: either the person feels scared and uncomfortable (a sign that they do not consider you as a potential partner), or they are touched (a “green flag” which shows that you can continue).
“For some reason it speeds things up and lets you know if they care about you or not“, writes one of the sisters.
Cooking for others: a more intimate gesture than it seems
Under the thread, numerous testimonies have confirmed the validity of this theory. An Internet user says that, after having prepared a birthday cake for her new companion, she was greeted with chilling indifference. Another man admits breaking up with his girlfriend after she cooked for him while he was away.
“I thought she was trying to interfere too much in my life“, he confides with hindsight.
These examples illustrate that cooking for someone is often seen as a deeply intimate gesture. It’s not just about preparing a meal, but showing the other person: I care enough about you to take care of you.
However, sincerity is crucial. “This is not manipulation“, underlines one of the sisters. “It’s an honest way to express care.”
So, should we try the soup test? Why not, as long as you don’t make it a major issue. Worst case scenario, you’ll have made a comforting dish. And in the best case, you may have found an answer to your questions