The number of romance scams has increased in recent years.
In an exposé in Norwegian VG, the story was first told of a man who lived a double life for several years and defrauded several women – out of millions.
– This has had enormous consequences for women’s lives, says Ida Thune Øritsland, who carried out the review.
He was charming, kind and good at listening. It quickly became love. And the pressured schedule had its explanation, of course. Namely, he worked for the Norwegian intelligence service and was involved in security operations that were covered by great secrecy. Or was he the lawyer who, with large important clients and many demanding meetings, sometimes had difficulty finding the time? Maybe neither.
Silje and Marte were two of the women who came into contact with the prince of their dreams via the dating app Tinder. Both were conned out of money by the fraudster, who was sentenced to 14 months in prison for aggravated fraud and unlawful threats last year.
Had multiple relationships at the same time
The man had several relationships at the same time and the relationships had gone on in parallel for several years, without the women’s knowledge. But Silje began to feel uneasy. The partner’s stories didn’t quite add up. Through her own research, she found Marte, her partner’s second woman. Silje herself had been tricked into leasing a car in her own name to the man, while Marte had lent a lot of money – almost a million kroner – to the swindler.
– They start investigating the matter and on social media they then find even more women to whom he has lied and told different stories – which are not true, says Ida Thune Øritsland, who did the review for VG.
Silje and Marte were able to get in touch with seven other women who had been in contact with the fraudster. In several cases, they, like Silje and Marte, had also been cheated out of money. And for the women, the consequences have been completely devastating, says Ida Thune Øritsland.
– The women say that this has had enormous consequences for their lives. The psychological burden is great and the women say that they find it difficult to trust people again.
Not an unusual story
According to Jan Olsson, who is a criminal inspector at the national IT crime centre, Silje and Marte’s story is not unusual. Fraudsters who work in this way have a strategy based on multiple relationships going on in parallel and following different timelines. In this way, the first question about borrowing money usually does not come up all at once, but only after a couple of months into a relationship.
– If we meet someone we start living with and after six months our partner needs to borrow money, yes I say of course – I would probably lend that too. So time is a factor, and it’s not strange that you go for this, says Jan Olsson.
Big dark speech
And the number of romance scams is on the rise. According to figures from the Crime Prevention Council, 1,312 cases of romance fraud were reported in Sweden in 2022, while the figure showed 1,058 cases in 2020. Nevertheless, the dark figure is large. This is largely because victims of scammers feel a great deal of guilt and shame about being scammed and simply don’t want to report it. But it is extremely important that you do, says Olsson.
– The stigma that the victim is complicit in being affected, that’s bullshit. They are victims of crime and nothing else. It is extremely easy to become a victim in these contexts, we must not forget that.