Realizing whether you are an introvert or extrovert is necessary for self-understanding. This allows you to be happier and more comfortable with others. These notions reflect a deep nature that can be observed in many aspects of our personality. But what does it mean to be introverted or extroverted?
“Generally speaking, the introvert is turned inward. Both inside his own psyche but also inside his home. He is also more inclined to stay in small groups”explains Laurie Hawkes, clinical psychologist and therapist. “Conversely, the extrovert is outward-looking. He likes contact with people, the more people there are, the happier he is” she continues. Between the two poles, we can be “ambiverted”, with introverted sides and other extroverted ones, depending on the state of fatigue and the circumstances. We can also evolve over time, the extrovert often becoming more introverted with age, the introvert acquiring more capacity for interaction. But how do we know which group we belong to?
Introverts are generally more affected by shyness, hypersensitivity or even social anxiety. “There are relationships between all these notions, but they are not equivalent”shade Laurie Hawkes. Extroverts can also be hypersensitive, and even shy at first. Contrary to what one might think, it is conceivable that an introverted person could converse with a stranger on the bus without any problem. Generally, extroverts will appreciate what we call “small talk”, these small everyday conversations at the coffee machine, about the weather or even the weekend schedule. Conversely, introverts will find more interest in conversations that are immediately more targeted or deep, in front of one or two people, far from a group. Since these character traits are quite fluid, there is an even easier way to distinguish introverts and extroverts.
“We all have a battery of energy, both physical and psychological”
Have you ever wondered when you arrived at a party, “How long should I wait before leaving, without being rude?” ? And why? Because at the end of a period of socialization, the introvert is generally very tired while the extrovert is recharged. This is the major difference between these two characters. This is called the “social battery”. “We can also call it “general battery”, and it is the aspect that most distinguishes introverts and extroverts. We all have a battery of energy, both physical and psychological. Some manage to fuel their battery alone while others need contact with others”, the specialist explains to us. Some extroverts can even go so far as to experience a state of depression when they are not in contact with others, while introverts “take care of themselves”. This doesn’t mean they don’t need anyone, because all humans need interaction. Introverts sometimes have to force themselves to get out and see people, and although they’ll need to recharge their batteries by being alone for a while after that, it won’t stop them from having a good time.
How to recharge your general battery? The first step is to understand how your battery works. “We can then ask ourselves, ‘What recharges me?’ Is it solitude or being with people?” suggests Laurie Hawkes. After understanding what fuels us, we just have to set up the appropriate operation. “For example, an extrovert who only telecommutes can make sure to find activities, such as a sports or craft class, to get what they need in social interaction.” The quantity of interactions matters, but so does the type. Some need something calm, others more euphoric. Introverts, for example, may be satisfied with only a few exchanges by SMS. Finally, you must do what is necessary to preserve your battery. “If you are an introvert with a contact job, you will need to plan a moment of rest, rather than agreeing to have a drink with colleagues after work”advises Laurie Hawkes.
These profound differences are sometimes difficult to live with for the people concerned and for their loved ones. Some extroverted people don’t necessarily understand the refusals of introverts. Also, you should not hesitate to talk about your introversion around you, so that no one is offended when an invitation is declined. On the other hand, it is important that, in a world where extroverts make a lot of noise, those around them adapt, not rush and do not make introverts feel guilty.