In 2018, the American anthropologist David Graeber published Bullshit Jobs (“stupid jobs”). In this work, which has become a reference, he pointed out functions or tasks whose disappearance would have no negative consequences on the functioning of organizations. Far from having disappeared, these “jobs” are now adorned with ever more crazy titles and titles. There was a time, which those under 30 have not known, when we were “director”, “accountant”, “cleaner” or “salesman”. Today, we have become “CEOs”, “surface technicians” or “sales assistants”. With the advent of professional social networks like LinkedIn, a new milestone has been reached in the nonsense of titles and functions that we attribute to ourselves. Truthful dive into the land of job titles whose ridiculousness doesn’t kill, translator (ironic) of managerial jargon in hand:
“Agile facilitator” (corporate yogi), “Link creator” (Bondage mistress), “Thought leader” (single shot rifle, one idea per mission), “Digital shaper” (digital polymorphic pervert), “Creative activist of the world digital” (glues his hands to the computer screens), “Corporate shaman” (serial mushroomer), “Pragmatic advisor” (gets paid before giving his advice), “Coach, trainer, and coach of collective intelligence” (organizer of hackathons for the Darwin Awards), “Chief Dreaming Officer” (cannabis supplier), “Human Holistic Specialist” (God or Coach), “Seamstress of positive words” (threader of pearls), “Chief Heart Officer” (corporate defibrillator)”, “Digital awakener of leaders” (the Simon Sineks of the Multiverse), “Agitator of collaborative energies” (Ethical Orangina), “Alchemical coach” (atmosphere plumber), “Pollinator of positive impacts” (forager coach), “Faciligitator” (Mary Poppins of management), etc.
While it is difficult not to laugh, we must more seriously question what these (often ephemeral) titles about management and the world of work say about our time. Already in 1998, faced with the proliferation of “unemployed professions” – “recycling assistant”, “family conviviality agent” etc. – the essayist Philippe Muray observed: “what is most singular about these new designations is that they do not seem to care about immediately referring to any realities. They are expressions without object ” (Martine Aubry competes with civil statusin Spiritual Exorcisms IIParis, Les Belles Lettres, 1998). Anticipating Graeber’s work, the writer perfidiously asked: “and what really happens when an environmental agent goes on strike?” Indeed, what happens when the “team biocatalyst” is not available for an emergency intervention or the “facilitator” is ill? Answer: nothing! Because they actually have no use for the organization, other than perhaps providing wind.
The era of the void
It is then appropriate to formulate the following hypothesis: the more useless, hollow or absurd the work, the more the title of the person who carries it out should be evocative, poetic, abstruse, but above all tinged with ridicule.
What can an “alchemical coach” be used for? To tell the truth, we can’t see very well. But that is not the main thing: it is above all a question of making the client who will hire you for a mission dream. Dreaming, like all these car manufacturers who present themselves today as “creators of mobility”. Coaches, freelancers and other self-employed people in the bullshit managers have understood that when you don’t have much to sell, you have to take care of the packaging. And why not present yourself as an “esthete of complexity” when you have two or three mantras inspired by Edgar Morin as coaching tools. Because, as Philippe Muray once again reminded us, “the more realities pass beneath our feet, the more vocabulary strives to replace them.”
But of course, you don’t just create a title. Essential rule: you need something positive! The “job” must absolutely fit in with the story. A “seamstress of words” can only weave positive expressions. This is because, as Muray again points out, “there is also, in all this, an oversaturation of good intentions”. We don’t do anything cutesy or negative. No title such as “Destroyer of weak links” or “Talent undertaker”, which would certainly be validated by the parody account Michel L’Impasse (“underdevelopment coach”), who with humor offers devilishly ineffective services like: “Becoming the worst version of yourself”.
Irony as a… barrier gesture
How can we finally explain that, far from provoking hilarity and mockery, these titles are multiplying and spreading? Why is the opprobrium that they should logically provoke not being heard? The answer is simple: the invasion of bullshit management in our professional and private lives causes, if not habituation, fatigue and discouragement. As Philippe Muray further described, the programmed inessentiality of these “jobs of the third type” disarms all minds, even the most hostile. Irony being one of the most effective barrier gestures against managerial jargon, let’s resist and launch into the creation of titles and functions as absurd as they are negative: stand up and walk proudly “Malheurologists”, “Rigid Complicators” , “Disorganologists” and other “Corporate Dehumanists”. Titles to be carried like standards…
* Christophe Genoud is a temporary lecturer at the Haute Ecole de Gestion de Genève (HEG) and at the Haute Ecole Spécialisée de Suisse Ouest (HES-SO) in Lausanne, specialist in organization and author of the book “Leadership, agility, happiness at work : Bullshit!” (Editions Vuibert).
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