“And they had many children.” End of the fairy tale, beginning of a new reality that Perrault was careful not to describe: even with just one child, life is totally changed. Especially, when you are neither queen nor princess. This is obviously taking advantage of your child: Never spread your wings, Lolita don’t fly away, Renaud made it a tender anthem. It also means returning to your workplace, reconnecting, getting back on your work laptop with, now in your head, your baby and everything that goes with it – worries, organization, health. “Every year in France, hundreds of thousands of women give birth to children, then return to work at the end of their maternity or parental leave,” summarizes Thi Nhu An Pham in her book Recovery. The taboo of the condition of women after maternity leave (Payot, 2023). Or the first to welcome the mother returning from childbirth or adoption (the law provides for leave in both cases) is the manager, especially in structures without HR. “Returning to work after a maternity leave represents a little-explored period of physical and psychological vulnerability”, underlines the INRS (no. 173, March 2023). In France, 80% of employees return to work in the postpartum period, the year following childbirth (ibid).
Thi Nhu An Pham created a podcast [La reprise. Parentalité & travail] and received hundreds of testimonials. “All of them highlight the fact that recovery is unthinkable in the workplace and across society.” The problem is first of all physiological: “When the mother returns two and a half months after giving birth, she is barely convalescing.” It takes time for the body and mind to adjust to their new life. The child who sleeps poorly, the bottle, the childcare arrangements… The manager must take this normal fatigue into account. “Maternity leave is not vacation leave,” insists the author. Both are legitimate but, in the first case, an interview with the occupational doctor is planned at the time of resumption. “Returning to work specifically raises the issue of reconciling life at work and life outside of work,” insists the INRS. If the daycare opens at 8:30 a.m. and you have to be at work at 9 a.m., in very dense urban areas, the employee will arrive late for work. The manager must be able to know the parent’s requirements and, if necessary, offer to shift their hours, or even another position.
Be understanding, without being intrusive, conciliatory, show flexibility so that this vulnerability pointed out by the INRS does not transform into depression, or physical trauma – forget the heavy loads. “It’s not up to women to fix company policies,” notes Thi Nhu An Pham. The “manage yourself”, “I did well and I got four” are to be avoided, on the part of the hierarchy and colleagues. Refrain from imposing a career model or making mothers feel guilty about pseudo-feminist standards: more flexible hours for evening bathing for some, part-time hours for others, or remaining “as before” for others. still others. Everyone has their own reasons, all of them are right. They can evolve: the manager has an important role to play. “Companies must also give the co-parent the time and opportunity to take their part,” analyzes Thi Nhu An Pham.
Evolve corporate culture
Good news : paternity leave born in 2002 was extended in July 2021. But reluctance persists. “There are several obstacles to taking this leave,” announces Hager Jemel, director of the diversity & inclusion chair at Edhec and professor of management, who conducted a study (“Paternity and reception leave of the ‘child: representations and expectations’, 2022): ignorance of the system; a workload considered too heavy for 28% of respondents; the potential loss of income associated with this leave and, for 10% of those questioned, a traditional conception of the father’s role reminiscent of gender stereotypes. “What message sends a leader who has just had a child and returns very quickly to his post? The State has allowed men to take this leave and have a personal life recognized in the professional world”, judges the expert . His solution: work on corporate culture. Communicate, offer full salary maintenance for the duration of the leave, anticipate the departure/return of the parent. “It simply needs to become a standard.” Like maternity leave, when everything is going well.
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