It goes without saying to describe gifted children as “dreamers”, it would even be one of the first characteristics that comes to mind when we want to talk about their specificities.
Not that the other children are not also “dreamers”, but it would be to a lesser extent, they do not seem to consider daydreaming as one of their favorite activities and they often have a specific object which fuels it: the next vacation, a party to come, a show that they are delighted to see and, then, they remember the moments that delighted them. Undoubtedly, the list to send to Santa Claus is also, in season, one of these subjects.
In the gifted child, daydreaming would be so much a part of his nature that he does not even know that he is dreaming; it is when he hears that someone is speaking to him to ask him to come down that he realizes that he had gone in thought, sometimes without even knowing precisely where, because he was still in the process of groping around before deciding on a given theme, he would rather let himself be guided by his imagination, which would know where to head.
A power for the gifted child
A word caught on the fly, an image created by this word, the association of ideas that follows, all that is needed to boldly embark on these unknown paths that are so attractive where it is so good to float. Thanks to this power, the gifted child ignores boredom: when he realizes that he will have to endure a fairly long period of emptiness when no book has been planned, he prefers to start building a story, often well constructed and structured, but, as he does not like writing very much, this story, perhaps fascinating, risks remaining in his mind and fading little by little, replaced by others, borrowing scraps from action to the previous one.
Often, moreover, these daydreams are inspired by readings: certain books can be the origin of many dreams, they provided a pattern on which we can embroider at leisure, they gave the start.
Dreaming has benefits
This ability to dream so easily has multiple advantages: it does not take up space and can only be accompanied by a light comforter, always with the risk of misplacing it and experiencing the drama of loss, tearing, grief. The dream always remains accessible, it would be the least bulky of luggage, but it is also a trunk of inexhaustible treasures, enriched over the years by experience, acquired knowledge and above all reading, essential nourishment for the imagination. Entire universes are contained in this trunk, these daydreams are precious: they will participate in the construction of the personality, even if, later, the child will have forgotten them.
In reality, they will accompany him all his life, leaving a trace that will not fade, which will mix with others, and he will no longer know where these ideas come from: the magic trunk knows how to remain discreet. This ability to escape in this way, sometimes so annoying for adults when they see the attention they were hoping to capture dissipate like a crumbling cloud, brings an unusual freedom at such a young age. It is not a question of rebellion, of the desire for all power or of stubborn whim, but of an ability to construct abundant worlds, where one can evolve as one wishes and leave without regret for others, even more attractive, constructed from newly acquired knowledge or unexpected associations of ideas.
An essential faculty for the gifted child
These escapades are certainly necessary for the gifted child, they are the counterpoint to the obligations that he accepts with good grace when he is not of a quickly rebellious character, they temper the moments when he must use violence to maintain a relationship harmony, essential to one’s well-being. When he is sufficiently reasonable, he still constrains himself to avoid giving the image of himself as an incorrigible dreamer, provoking inevitable mockery and tarnishing his image for a long time: he prefers to appear as normal as possible.
He knows that once an adult, he will finally be able to give free rein to this precious reverie, he will know how to carve out the necessary moments, while walking, on the train, wherever he can form a bubble of solitude in an environment that is not too noisy. and he will rediscover the pleasure he enjoyed in his childhood, when he could escape into a universe that belonged to him. These kingdoms which succeeded one another, sometimes mixed, inspired each other, but rarely fought each other, left their mark: it was gradually transformed to fuel adult brains. They were able to bring it more structure, more rigor, more depth too. In the meantime, these adults who are always dreamers have discovered philosophy, certain paintings suggesting other universes of inconceivable beauty and authors having been able to put words capable of sharing their dreamy escapades with a large number of people.
A positive difference
When a child dreams, he becomes different, he is no longer the one who applies himself in class, who plays in the yard or who participates in the life of the house at home, he becomes The Dreamer. He can direct everything, he must no longer submit to the injunctions of adults who have the right to do so, while he has the duty to obey. He directs the protagonists and the events as he wishes, he chooses the setting according to his taste, he appreciates the happiness of absolute freedom, he moves with astonishing ease, he who so often gets confused in the most ordinary gestures, he is the conductor of a symphony which in itself constitutes an entire universe.
It is so tempting to fall into these happier, more lively and more entertaining worlds that it takes great strength of character to resist this attraction, but the gifted, realistic and reasonable child knows that these are the facts taught in class which provide the elements nourishing his dreams. It is not only in books, it is also in this immense knowledge, from which he receives a few scraps, that he will draw his inspiration.
The dream is only attractive because it provides escapes, but this pleasure remains virtual, it is not what gives reality to the hugs, to the stories told in the evening, to the laughter between friends, to the games, birthday cakes, activities where you have to surpass yourself, hard-won victories over a particularly difficult obstacle, the joy of achieving more skill, more science, more autonomy… The dream is a necessity, it embellishes existence, it does not constitute it.
Advice: admit that a child needs to dream, dreams contribute to the construction of his personality, but we can also explain to him the disadvantages of seeking refuge there too often, he must prepare to build his life and also enjoy to the concrete and essential joys of existence.