And what’s more, it’s easy to apply.
Self-confidence is very fragile. It can grow within us and help us flourish, just as it can get lost very easily. All it takes is one bad experience to taint it over time and damage mental health. Bullying at school, for example, leads to teasing which will have the effect of fueling the fear of being looked at by others and causing withdrawal. Working on your self-confidence allows you to devote yourself to yourself and assert yourself. And it’s not as difficult as you might think…
As psychologist Yves-Alexandre Thalmann reminds us “what is constructed with experience can only be reconstructed through experience3. Indeed, after having experienced difficult ordeals, the advice of a therapist will not necessarily be sufficient and “we have to pass because it’s called “the exhibition”.” To work on self-confidence, “we have all the tools we need in the big family of “self-affirmation”” reassures the specialist. According to him, we must challenge ourselves on a daily basis and not wait for interactions with others to happen to us, so as not to have to endure them. The goal is to tackle the belief we have in the eyes of others (and which leads to a negative judgment on us) and to put it to the test.
Then take on “the butcher’s challenge” to assert yourself and defend your interests. When going to your butcher, ask for 1 kilo of meat. If after preparing your order, he replies: “There are 1,100 kg, is that okay with you?” you should be able to say “No. I prefer 1kg.” This type of exercise can take place in several situations: at the bakery if the baguette offered to you is too cooked for you, at the restaurant if the dish is not as requested, at the hairdresser if the haircut does not suit you, or even with loved ones. The goal is not to give in and to ensure, politely but firmly, that your request is respected. “People are afraid because they expect the butcher to get angry or upset at the demand, but in reality he does it happily.” When the fear of being rejected by the request made to the butcher does not come true, the belief of being discredited will be updated in your brain and will allow you to regain self-confidence.