Each of us can have to ask this question once during our existence: am I missing out on my life? Certain stages of life, such as passages to a new decade (40 years, 50 years, etc.), are sometimes opportunities to take stock of his life. You can then regret having allowed certain opportunities to pass. Remorse and regrets create a feeling of bitterness towards yourself. You have the impression that you cannot realize yourself under the conditions that are yours. “”A little voice said to us “you could have, you should have, why you did this …” It is a reassessment of our own life, which is accompanied by existential questions. We perceive that our time is counted “ explains Monique de Kermadec, clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst.
The first sign that we miss out on our life is the obvious lack of satisfaction: “You have the feeling that your life is dull, that it does not make sense. The days are repeated, you are on an automatic pilot. You feel bogged down in a monotonous daily routine “, describes our interlocutor. Same thing if you put your desires and your needs from a distance. For example if your time is absorbed by missions or activities that do not make sense to you. By dint of putting you aside, your life, in the professional and/or personal sphere, no longer reflects your true personality. You are in an existential inner conflict.
Basically, you would like to have other projects, other ambitions but you ignore which ones or you do not dare to take the plunge. “”You do not take a risk, you do not try the novelty. You prefer to stay in your protective cocoon, even if your activities are not in harmony with your goals, with your values“Adds the psychologist. A person who misses his life also lacks motivation in the office or in his personal life. Less fulfilled, she undergoes a drop in energy and develops a tendency to procrastination. To endure everyday life, she was part of herself.
“All these signs must lead you to ask yourself a question: what am I doing with my life, am I in the right place?” continues Monique de Kermadec. According to the expert in psychology, if you have the feeling of missing out on your life, it is undoubtedly that: you let the needs of others go before yours; You sought a perfection that was false or utopian; Your goals were unrealizable; You are afraid of failure or you are too anxious; An overwhelming event has taken place and prevents you from fully living your life. “”It is important to know yourself to avoid avoidable situations, if not, our expectations and experiences may be blurred. To get to know yourself, you need to give yourself time, count on yourself and meet your emotional needs. You will be able to make the best choices for you“Concludes the psychologist.